Top 5 Movies from the 80’s

Nothing beats a lazy Saturday afternoon watching regular TV because you’re too poor to have cable, satellite, or FIOS.

In between infomercials such as Ron Popeil’s “set it and forget it” roaster to the latest technological breakthrough, a globe with a long stem that slowly releases water to your hungry house plants (the Aqua Globe!), you may get lucky and channel surf your way onto a showing of a 1980’s movie. Unfortunately, there were a lot of garbage movies produced in the 1980’s, so the chances of you seeing crap is high. But once in a while, you’ll find a true classic like one of the five from below. Why five and not more? Because the readers of Gunaxin don’t have the attention span to make it past five. See if you can beat the odds and count it down to number one.

These are the top 5 movies from the 1980’s you’d most likely see on network TV as determined by Me. Rotten Tomatoes, IMDB, and whomever else can take their rankings and shove it.

Classic Movie #5: 1986’s Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
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Matthew Broderick stars as a high school wise guy determined to skip school by fooling the school’s principal, Jeffrey Jones into thinking that he’s legitimately sick.

At first, I hesitated to include this movie, but because this movie is no-doubt the most played on network television on any given lazy Saturday, I had to include it in my top five of 1980 classics. I had watched bits and pieces of the movie for years before I finally watched it in its entirety.

Here’s a quick taste of what the movie is about.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Bueller…Bueller… Edition (Special Collector’s Edition)

Classic Movie #4: 1985’s Back to the Futurebacktothefuture 193x300

In 1985, Christopher Lloyd playing as Doc Brown invents a time machine using the DMC DeLorean. Doc Brown is killed by Libyan nationalists and as Marty McFly (Michael J Fox) tries to escape in the DeLorean, he hits the magical 88 mph mark and is sent back to 1955 where he accidentally prevents his parents from falling in love and puts his own existence in the future at stake.

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In this scene is Lea Thompson who just woke perennial short man Michael J Fox from his sleep. She calls him “Calvin Klein” because apparently, Marty likes to wear whitie tighties with CK tatooed all over it. If not for Lea (because I had a solid crush on her), I’m not sure this movie would have cut into the top five.

Memorable movie quotes: “When this baby hits 88 mph, you’re going to see some serious $#!&” and “I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity I need!”

See the original Back to the Future Trailer!

Back to the Future – The Complete Trilogy (Widescreen Edition)

Classic Movie #3: 1986’s Top Guntopgun 205x300

An elite flying school for advanced pilots compete to be the best in the class. Student, Tom Cruise, aka Maverick, decides to romance teacher, Kelly McGillis with his machismo. Students learn advanced tactical maneuvers using the F-14 Tomcat. A classic that you can’t help but to watch over and over again for the fierce flight scenes.

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No doubt, Top Gun was THE movie that launched Tom Cruise’s career as a young beefcake that could swoon any teenager or cougar into the movie theater. Maverick jackasses his way through flight school with his partner, Goose until one day, something goes wrong. Maverick’s F-14 gets into a tailspin that he can’t get out of and the pilots have to eject. Unfortunately, the canopy doesn’t open fast enough and Goose dies from head injuries as a result of ejecting. The loss of his friend destroys Maverick’s confidence and manhood. Maverick has a tough time gathering himself but finally mans up during a live mission in which the dirty Russians try to test the US’ F-14’s capabilities.

This is a video showcasing a lot of the flight scenes in Top Gun.

Top Gun [Blu-ray], Top Gun (Widescreen Special Collector’s Edition)

Classic Movie #2: 1984’s Karate Kidkaratekid 190x300

Pat Morita stars as a handyman and martial arts master who agrees to teach a bullied boy, Ralph Macchio who plays Daniel Larusso, the art of Karate. Along the way, Mr. Kesuke Miyagi shows Daniel-san that there is more to the martial art than fighting (like waxing Miyagi’s sweet ride, painting his long wooden fence, and lastly sanding his beautiful deck).


The movie gave hope to the nerds that they too, could one day beat up the bullies that terrorized them with wedgies. Not only that, if you knew Karate, you could pick up hot chicks like Elisabeth Shue who played as Ali Mills, the love interest of wimpy Daniel Larusso.

Among my memorable movie quotes, “Sweep the leg Johnny”, “Wax on, wax off”, and of course, “Finish Him!”, a line which no doubt, Mortal Kombat stole from this legendary 1980’s classic.

Lastly, who can forget the final fight scene where Danny gives it good to Cobra Kai, Johnny?

The Karate Kid (Special Edition), The Karate Kid Collection (Four Film Set)

Classic Movie #1: 1985’s Gooniesgoonies 207x300

If you made it down to #1, then congratulate yourself for being able to count. Goonies is about a bunch of neighborhood kids that embark on a crazy adventure after finding a pirate’s treasure map in Mikey’s (Sean Astin) attic. One of the epic adventure movies of the 1980’s features music from Cyndi Lauper and a whole bunch of other no-names. Really – it’s not that important, but what is important is the main hottie in this movie. Starring as the hot female cheerleader, Andy Carmichael (yes- it’s Andy) is Kerri Green who has a great scene in which she makes out with Mikey – tongue and all! – woot!

Who is Kerri Green? Well, unfortunately Kerri turns out to be a talentless actress and hasn’t done much since her days of playing as the dumb cheerleader on Goonies. Nonetheless, I provide a picture of her below for reference.

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Some memorable movie quotes came from the character, “Sloth,” played by John Matuszak. I remember hearing rumors that Sloth was a real person with a tragically deformed face and cone-shaped head. It turns out that it was just a rumor. Make up took hours to complete and one of the eyes, which was out of place on the face, was mechanically operated by remote control.

In this scene is Chunk sharing a “Baaaby Ruuth” with Sloth who ultimately proclaims “Sloth loves Chunk!” in a teary-eyed scene near the end of the movie.

Watch the original Goonies trailer!

The Goonies (DVD)

Here is a gallery showing you the then and now pictures of the main Goonies cast members.