A Day in World of Warcraft

What would life be like if one day, you woke up and found yourself in the World of Warcraft? Well, wonder no longer friends.

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This is you.

You wake up, sighing as you do so. Another day in your crappy life… wait… you don’t recognize this to be your crappy life! Let’s see.. patching.. ostentatious BLIZZARD logo.. elves, orcs.. Oh HELL YEAH. A deep booming voice calls out “ENTER CHARACTER NAME.” You think for a few minutes and it settles upon you. It’s perfect. You have absolutely no idea where it came from, but you’re a genius. “The Dark Knight!” you announce in a proud voice. Taken? The Dark Knight2? The Dark Knight 3? The_Dark_Knight?

A few minutes later, you enter the world (of Warcraft) as prettypuff142. You’ve created a totally realistic version of yourself as a 7 foot tall blue night elf. You have no idea how you came to enter this world (of Warcraft), but what you do know is that if you don’t help that old woman out by killing seven boars and bringing back their meats for that lady to make into a stew pie, no one will.


Awwwwww yeah.

You’ve killed about a hundred of these boars, but they just keep coming out of nowhere. You wonder how long it’s been since the last time you saw a glowing aura around you and heard a dinging sound that signified a level-up. This is the ninth health potion you’re drinking, until finally you throw up red vomit, and you’re not sure whether or not it’s the potion or your blood. Exhausted and feverish, you desperately try and raise your sword for a finishing blow, but it’s too late.. you’ve died. As your ghost is running through the graveyard, you think to yourself it was a whole lot easier when you were hurriedly left-clicking and WASDing your way through the world (of Warcraft). And worst of all, that sweet old lady who needed you to bring back boar meats will never be able to make her stew pie because you see some damn noob looting your corpse. Wait, what is he doing now? Is he humping you?


Man, fuck this game.