A Gambling Manifesto: Ridiculous Super Bowl XLIII Bets

super bowl xliiiThe current line on the Super Bowl has the Pittsburgh Steelers favored by about a touchdown or so over the Arizona Cardinals. The line may shift slightly in the hours leading up to kickoff, but you know Pittsburgh will be a clear favorite. For something a little different, the Over/Under has been sitting at about 46½-47 if you want to bet the total score.

Of course, that’s not the whole of Super Bowl betting. Not by a long shot. Let’s examine some of the more ridiculous bets out there. Some are truly bizarre, and most require zero knowledge of football or anything really. If you’re a degenerate gambler these are for you (A quick note for gambling novices: If the money line is negative, such as -145, then you have to wager $145 to win $100. This works for any negative number, you wager that much to win $100. If the money line is a positive number, then you will wager $100 to win the money line. For example, if the money line is +145 then you wager $100 to win $145.):

coin toss 75x75First we have the Coin Toss (BetUS.com)
Heads: -105
Tails: -105

And also the Team to Win Coin Toss (BetUS.com)
Steelers: -105
Cardinals: -105

At least both heads and tails are the same odds. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise. So maybe there is some logic to this whole thing. Alright then, let’s move on to Super Bowl predictions…

barack obama thumb 75x75If Barack Obama picks a team to win Super Bowl XLIII during the Super Bowl Pre-Game show, will the President’s pick be correct? (SportsBetting)
Yes: -160
No: +130

matt millen 75x75Will Matt Millen pick the correct team to win Super Bowl XLIII during the Pre-Game Show? (Bodog)
Yes: -225
No: +185

Are we really going to trust Matt Millen over Barack Obama? Would you trust Matt Millen on anything? If Millen’s right and Obama’s wrong, does the world end? Speaking of disappointments like Matt Millen, Here’s Bill Bidwill…

bill bidwill 75x75What Color will Bill Bidwill’s bow tie be (Bill Bidwill must wear a Bow Tie on Camera during the game for wager to have action)? (Bodog)
Red: -600
Any Other Color: +400

Really, the less Bill Bidwill seen the better. Alright, let’s move on to the National Anthem…

During the Singing of The Star Spangled Banner will Jennifer Hudson Lip-Sync any part of the Song? (SportsBetting)
Yes: +115
No: -145

jennifer hudson 75x75The question here is, how do you actually know if you’ve won? Can you see lip-syncing through your television? It might not be so obvious. At least this next bet has a firm winner…

How Long will it take Jennifer Hudson to Sing the Star Spangled Banner (from starting note to last note sung)? (SportsBetting)
Over 2 minutes and 1 second: -155
Under 2 minutes and 1 second: +125

I like the over on that one, but that’s just me. So the National Anthem is over, which means we get Al Michaels and John Madden talking at us. They may or may not say anything worthwhile. Any bets on them? Sure!

How many times will Al Michaels and John Madden reference Ben Roethlisberger as Big Ben during the Game (Pre Game and Halftime do not count towards wager)? (Bodog)
Over 5 Big Ben References: +140
Under 5 Big Ben References: -200

al michaels and john madden 300x198What Super Bowl Game Betting Line will Al Michaels alluded to or mention first during the Game? (Bodog)
Point Spread: -500
Total: +350

How many food items will John Madden mention during the game? (Bodog)
Over 1.5: -280
Under 1.5: +220

Too bad we probably won’t get Madden talking about his six-legged turkey. Maybe instead he’ll mention his great Popcorn Popper? Probably a no on that one too. Let’s just move on from Madden and assume we make it to halftime. How about some Bruce Springsteen bets?

bruce springsteen 75x75Bruce Springsteen 1st song of the Halftime show? (BetUS)
Born in the USA: Even
The Rising: +500
The Wrestler: +700
Radio Nowhere: +800
I’m on Fire: +1500
Born to Run: +200
Glory Day: +250

Halftime is over! And for those of you’ve that watched, you were treated to another act that was more relevant twenty years ago than today. That’s okay, I don’t listen to much music of today anyway. To this point you might notice I’ve largely skipped bets on the game. Those aren’t ridiculous enough on the whole. Except with the refs. You never know with them, and this has been a bad year overall for referees, so let’s throw this one in…

instant replay 2 75x75What will be the result of the first coaches challenge in the game (Wager is official once either coach challenges a play? (Bodog)
Play Overturned: EVEN
Play Stands: -130

Given some of the calls this year, I don’t know what’s a good bet here. So let’s hope there’s no major controversies and just fast forward to the end of the game. You know when the Gatorade showers start to commence. Which brings us to…

gatorade shower 300x288Time on the Game Clock When the Winning Team Attempts to Dump Gatorade on Head Coach? (SportsBetting)

Over 45 Seconds left in 4th Quarter: -135
Under 45 Seconds left in 4th Quarter +105

Not a totally crazy bet, so let’s get more in depth on this Gatorade issue:

Color of Gatorade dumped on the Winning Head Coach? (BetUS)
Lime Green: +400
Yellow: +200
Orange: +500
Red: +500
Clear/Water: +650
Blue: -130

Or you can take slightly different odds at Bodog:
Lime Green: +450
Yellow: +200
Orange: +300
Red: +550
Blue: +900
Clear/Water: +115

Just a note, “clear/water” has been the winner in each of the last three Super Bowls. Might be worth a shot, even if I’m personally hoping for blue. And one last Gatorade related bet…

What side of the ball with the Players that perform the Gatorade Shower be from (Players must be holding a part or piece of the bucket to be counted towards wager. If there are players from both sides of the ball involved in the actual dumping of Gatorade then Wagers are No Action)? (Bodog)
Offensive: EVEN
Defensive: -140

Damn those offensive players hogging all the Gatorade glory! Okay, now the game is over. Still a few bets to cover. First, let’s start with the commericals. They’ve all aired. So who’s the winner there?

super bowl ad 243x300Higher Rated Super Bowl Ad on USA Today’s annual Ad Meter? (BetUS)
Go Daddy.com: +800
Coca-Cola: +450
Pepsi: +325
Anheuser-Busch / Budweiser: -150
McDonald’s: +700
Doritos: +350
Any Other: +200

Bud’s always a good bet, but not much money to be made on that one. What about the ratings?

What will the TV Rating be? (BetUS)
Over 42½ Neilson Rating: +115
Under 42½ Neilson Rating:-155

These are supposed to be smaller markets. Not exactly New York and Boston from last year. Maybe the under is a worthwhile bet (like I really have any idea what’s a good bet here)? Whatever the correct answer is, let’s make sure not to forget about Brenda Warner…

brenda warner1 75x75How Many Times will NBC show Brenda Warner on TV during the Game (Live pictures only, Any Taped Pictures or Past Video does not count towards wager)? (Bodog)
Over 2½: +135
Under 2½: -175

Which brings us to the MVP. Not who will win. That’s not ridiculous enough. How about who he thanks?

eli manning super bowl xlii mvp 278x300Who will the Super Bowl MVP of the Game Thank First? (Bodog)
Coach: +900
Doesn’t thank anyone: +500
Family: +400
God: -125
Teammates: +200

God: -150
Coach: +800
Family: +400
Teammates: +200
Does not thank anyone: +500

I think you know where Kurt Warner is going first if he wins (Hint: it’s God). He may pushing the odds on God a bit since he’s a prime candidate to win MVP. Only Ben Roethlisberger has better individual odds. If you think the Steelers will win, maybe this is one instance where you bet against God? That is if he doesn’t smite you.

Well that wraps up our rundown of ridiculous Super Bowl bets. If you’ve gotten this far, here’s a table of actual spreads and over/unders of all the Super Bowls:

Superbowl Year Winner Winner’s Line Loser Total Location
XLII 2008 New York Giants 17 +12 New England Patriots 14 55, UNDER Glendale, AZ
XLI 2007 Indianapolis Colts 29 -7 Chicago Bears 17 47, UNDER Miami, FL
XL 2006 Pittsburgh Steelers 21 -4 Seattle Seahawks 10 47, UNDER Detroit, MI
XXXIX 2005 New England Patriots 24 -7 Philadelphia Eagles 21 46.5, UNDER Jacksonville, FL
XXXVIII 2004 New England Patriots 32 -7 Carolina Panthers 29 37.5, OVER Houston, TX
XXXVII 2003 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 48 +4 Oakland Raiders 21 44, OVER San Diego, CA
XXXVI 2002 New England Patriots 20 +14 St. Louis Rams 17 53, UNDER New Orleans, LA
XXXV 2001 Baltimore Ravens 34 -3 New York Giants 7 33, OVER Tampa, FL
XXXIV 2000 St. Louis Rams 23 -7 Tennessee Titans 16 47.5, UNDER Atlanta, GA
XXXIII 1999 Denver Broncos 34 -7.5 Atlanta Falcons 19 52.5, OVER Miami, FL
XXXII 1998 Denver Broncos 31 +11 Green Bay Packers 24 49, OVER San Diego, CA
XXXI 1997 Green Bay Packers 35 -14 New England Patriots 21 49, OVER New Orleans, LA
XXX 1996 Dallas Cowboys 27 -13.5 Pittsburgh Steelers 17 51, UNDER Tempe, AZ
XXIX 1995 San Francisco 49ers 49 -18.5 San Diego Chargers 26 53.5, OVER Miami, FL
XXVIII 1994 Dallas Cowboys 30 -10.5 Buffalo Bills 13 50.5, UNDER Atlanta, GA
XXVII 1993 Dallas Cowboys 52 -6.5 Buffalo Bills 17 44.5, OVER Pasadena, CA
XXVI 1992 Washington Redskins 37 -7 Buffalo Bills 24 49, OVER Minneapolis, MN
XXV 1991 New York Giants 20 +7 Buffalo Bills 19 40.5, UNDER Tampa, FL
XXIV 1990 San Francisco 49ers 55 -12 Denver Broncos 10 48, OVER New Orleans, LA
XXIII 1989 San Francisco 49ers 20 -7 Cincinnati Bengals 16 48, UNDER Miami, FL
XXII 1988 Washington Redskins 42 +3 Denver Broncos 10 47, OVER San Diego, CA
XXI 1987 New York Giants 39 -9.5 Denver Broncos 20 40, OVER Pasadena, CA
XX 1986 Chicago Bears 46 -10 New England Patriots 10 37.5, OVER New Orleans, LA
XIX 1985 San Francisco 49ers 38 -3.5 Miami Dolphins 16 53.5, OVER Stanford, CA
XVIII 1984 LA Raiders 38 +3 Washington Redskins 9 48, UNDER Tampa, FL
XVII 1983 Washington Redskins 27 +3 Miami Dolphins 17 36.5, OVER Pasadena, CA
XVI 1982 San Francisco 49ers 26 -1 Cincinnati Bengals 21 48, UNDER Pontiac, MI
XV 1981 Oakland Raiders 27 +3 Philadelphia Eagles 10 37.5, UNDER New Orleans, LA
XIV 1980 Pittsburgh Steelers 31 -10.5 Los Angeles Rams 19 36, OVER Pasadena, CA
XIII 1979 Pittsburgh Steelers 35 -3.5 Dallas Cowboys 31 37, OVER Miami, FL
XII 1978 Dallas Cowboys 27 -6 Denver Broncos 10 39, UNDER New Orleans, LA
XI 1977 Oakland Raiders 32 -4 Minnesota Vikings 14 38, OVER Pasadena, CA
X 1976 Pittsburgh Steelers 21 -7 Dallas Cowboys 17 36, OVER Miami, FL
IX 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers 16 -3 Minnesota Vikings 6 33, UNDER New Orleans, LA
VIII 1974 Miami Dolphins 24 -6.5 Minnesota Vikings 7 33, UNDER Houston, TX
VII 1973 Miami Dolphins 14 -1 Washington Redskins 7 33, UNDER Los Angeles, CA
VI 1972 Dallas Cowboys 24 -6 Miami Dolphins 3 34, UNDER New Orleans, LA
V 1971 Baltimore Colts 16 -2.5 Dallas Cowboys 13 36, UNDER Miami, FL
IV 1970 Kansas City Chiefs 23 +12 Minnesota Vikings 7 39, UNDER New Orleans, LA
III 1969 New York Jets 16 +18 Baltimore Colts 7 40, UNDER Miami, FL
II 1968 Green Bay Packers 33 -13.5 Oakland Raiders 14 43, OVER Miami, FL
I 1967 Green Bay Packers 35 -14 Kansas City Chiefs 10 NL Los Angeles, CA