A Gambling Manifesto: Ridiculous Super Bowl XLIV Bets

super bowl xlivThe current line on the Super Bowl has the Indianapolis Colts favored by approximately five points or so over the New Orleans Saints. This pending the latest Dwight Freeney injury news or late public money wagers, which are prone to shift the line once again before kickoff.  But barring a Peyton Manning late night hooker escapade, you know the Colts will remain a mild favorite for the game. The game is also expected to be a shootout between the two high-powered offenses, as the Over/Under is hovering around 56½ points. It’s another bet to consider if you would rather root on the final score instead of specific teams involved.

Of course, that’s not the extent of Super Bowl betting. In fact, we’ve barely scratched the surface. What about the grand world of Prop betting? It’s something made famous after William “the Refrigerator” Perry scored way back in Super Bowl XX. That’s where one can find an outlet for your serious gambling addictions. So, in that spirit, let’s examine some of the more ridiculous bets out there. Some are odd, some are truly bizarre, and most require zero knowledge of football…or anything at all. If you are a degenerate gambler, then these are for you. (A quick note for gambling novices: If the money line is negative, such as -145, then you have to wager $145 to win $100. This works for any negative number, you wager that much to win $100. If the money line is a positive number, then you will wager $100 to win the money line. For example, if the money line is +145 then you wager $100 to win $145. For straight odds, its about the numbers. If the odds are 6-5, it means you will get $6 profit for every $5 wagered. If it states 20-1, it means you get $20 profit for every $1 wagered (i.e. bet $2 and get $42 back). This works for any numbers listed):

superbowl coin toss 75x75First we have the Coin Toss (BetUS.com)
Heads: -110
Tails: -110

And also the Team to Win Coin Toss (BetUS.com)
Saints: -110
Colts: -110

At least both heads and tails are the same odds. It wouldn’t make sense otherwise. So maybe there is some logic to this whole thing after all. Let’s move on to the people in the stands…

kim kardashian playboy 206x300What color top (not on jacket if separate top and jacket are shown) will Kim Kardashian be wearing at the Super Bowl? (Bodog)

Black: 10/13
White: 13/4
Any Other Color: 6/5

Will Kim Kardashian Wear a Saints Shirt or Jersey? (BetUs)
Yes: +150
No: -200

How Many Times will CBS show Tony Dungy on TV? (BetUs)
Over: 1½ TV Shots -150
Under: 1½ TV Shots +120

Will they show a replay of Tom Benson celebrating the missed field goal against Tampa Bay from the regular season? (Bodog)
Yes: +250
No: -325

And no, we have not forgot about the Manning clan, but we’ll have to come back to them. Kickoff is approaching, so how about a national anthem prop?

carrie underwood 75x75How Long will it take Carrie Underwood to Sing the Star Spangled Banner (from starting note to last note sung)? (BetUs)
Over: 1 minute and 41 seconds: -110
Under: 1 minute and 41 seconds: -130

I like the over on that one, but that’s just me. So the National Anthem is over, which means we get talking some nonsense. Any bets on them? Sure!

Which sideline reporter will be on TV first after the opening kick off (Both side line reporters must be in attendance for wager to have action)? (Bodog)
Solomon Wilcots: -115
Steve Tasker: -115

hurricane katrina category 5 75x75How Many Times will CBS announcers specifically say “Hurricane Katrina” during the game (from kick off until final whistle)? (Bodog)
Over: 2½: -150
Under 2½: +120

And if you dig hard enough, I’m sure you can bet on the mentions of inspirational stories, like references to the Haitian backgrounds of Pierre Garçon and Jonathan Vilma or references to Saints “uniting” New Orleans. But enough on that, let’s hit halftime. And if you are wondering how many halftime songs there will be that aren’t currently CSI theme songs, then this is the type of bet for you:

The who 300x187What song will The Who open with? (BetUs)
I Can’t Explain: -300
Who Are You: +400
My Generation: +600
Baba O’Riley: +800
Substitute: +1000
Pinball Wizard: +1000
Won’t Get Fooled Again: +1200
Behind Blue Eyes: +1500
You Better You Bet: +1800
The Kids Are Alright: +2000

Number of Pete Townshend Total Windmills? (BetUs)
Over: 5½ Total Windmills: -200
Under: 5½ Total Windmills: +150

If any member of the Who smashes their guitar what does the guitar hit first? (Bodog)
Floor: 1/5
Speaker: 4/1
Microphone: 5/1
Drummer: 200/1
Fan: 200/1

Halftime is over! And for those of you’ve that watched, you were treated to another act that was more relevant twenty years ago than today. That’s okay, I don’t listen to much music of today anyway. To this point you might notice I’ve largely skipped bets on the game. Those aren’t ridiculous enough on the whole. Except with the refs. You never know with them, and this has been a bad year overall for referees, so let’s throw this one in…

instant replay 2 75x75What will be the result of the first coaches challenge in the game (Wager is official once either coach challenges a play? (Bodog)
Play Overturned: -115
Play Stands: -115

Given some of the calls this year, I don’t know what’s a good bet here. So let’s hope there’s no major controversies and just fast forward to the end of the game. You know when the Gatorade showers start to commence. Which brings us to…

NFL Super Bowl XLIII Cardinals Steelers 300x195Color of Gatorade dumped on the Winning Head Coach? (BetUS)
Blue: +1000
Clear / Water: +150
Lime Green: +600
Orange: +500
Yellow: -13

Or you can take slightly different odds at Bodog:
Lime Green: 8/1
Yellow: 10/13
Orange: 11/2
Red: 10/1
Blue: 25/2
Clear/Water: 9/5

Just a note, “clear/water” has been the winner in three of the last four Super Bowls. Might be worth a shot, even if I’m personally hoping for blue. And one last Gatorade related bet…

What side of the ball with the Players that perform the Gatorade Shower be from (Players must be holding a part or piece of the bucket to be counted towards wager. If there are players from both sides of the ball involved in the actual dumping of Gatorade then Wagers are No Action)? (Bodog)
Offensive: +140
Defensive: -170

Damn those offensive players hogging all the Gatorade glory! Okay, now the game is over. Still a few bets to cover. First, let’s start with the commercials. They’ve all aired. So who’s the winner there?

super bowl sexy 300x244Higher Rated Super Bowl Ad on USA Today’s annual Ad Meter? (Bodog)
Anheuser-Busch / Budweiser: 20/29
Go Daddy.com: 9/1
Career Builder: 9/1
Coca-Cola: 8/1
Family First: 12/1
Doritos: 12/5
Other: 11/4

Bud’s always a good bet, but not much money to be made on that one. What about the ratings?

What will the TV Rating be?
Over 42.9 Neilsen Rating: -135
Under 42.9 Neilsen Rating: +105

These are supposed to be smaller markets, but Manning is a big name. Maybe the over is a worthwhile bet (like I really have any idea what’s a good bet here)? Whatever the correct answer is, let’s make sure not to forget about the Manning clan…

How Many Times will CBS show Archie Manning on TV during the game (live pictures only)? (Bodog)
Over 4: -180
Under 4: + 150

manning clan 300x225How Many Times will CBS show Eli Manning on TV during the game (live pictures only)? (Bodog)
Over 3: -160
Under 3: +130

Which of course brings us to the end of the game…

The last scoring play of the game will be… (Sportsbook)
Colts Defense or Special Teams TD: 14/1
Colts field goal: 5/2
Colts safety: 40/1
Colts touchdown pass: 3/2
Colts touchdown run: 3/1
Saints Defense or Special Teams TD: 14/1
Saints field goal: 3/1
Saints safety: 40/1
Saints touchdown pass: 3/2
Saints touchdown run: 4/1

Which brings us to the MVP. Not who will win. That’s not ridiculous enough. How about who he thanks?

Santana MVPWho will the Super Bowl MVP of the Game Thank First? (Bodog)
God: 7/5
Family: 8/1
Teammates: 1/1
Coach: 12/1
Does not Thank Anyone: 5/2

There’s a lot of bets on a Pierre winning MVP, either the Saints’ Thomas or the Colts’ Garçon. Apparently, if you knew this long ago, you would have gotten some pretty sweet odds. Even being named Pierre is reasonably rare, about 25,000 in the United States, or one out of every 125,000 people. But with around 1600 NFL players, the odds of any one guy name Pierre and being an NFL player is at something like 156 million to 1. So imagine two guys named Pierre scoring in a Super Bowl or winning MVP would be astronomical.

Well that wraps up our rundown of ridiculous Super Bowl bets. If you’ve gotten this far, here’s a table of actual spreads and over/unders of all the Super Bowls:

Superbowl Year Winner Winner’s Line Loser Total Location
XLIII 2009 Pittsburgh Steelers 27 -6.5 Arizona Cardinals 23 46.5, OVER Tampa, FL
XLII 2008 New York Giants 17 +12 New England Patriots 14 55, UNDER Glendale, AZ
XLI 2007 Indianapolis Colts 29 -7 Chicago Bears 17 47, UNDER Miami, FL
XL 2006 Pittsburgh Steelers 21 -4 Seattle Seahawks 10 47, UNDER Detroit, MI
XXXIX 2005 New England Patriots 24 -7 Philadelphia Eagles 21 46.5, UNDER Jacksonville, FL
XXXVIII 2004 New England Patriots 32 -7 Carolina Panthers 29 37.5, OVER Houston, TX
XXXVII 2003 Tampa Bay Buccaneers 48 +4 Oakland Raiders 21 44, OVER San Diego, CA
XXXVI 2002 New England Patriots 20 +14 St. Louis Rams 17 53, UNDER New Orleans, LA
XXXV 2001 Baltimore Ravens 34 -3 New York Giants 7 33, OVER Tampa, FL
XXXIV 2000 St. Louis Rams 23 -7 Tennessee Titans 16 47.5, UNDER Atlanta, GA
XXXIII 1999 Denver Broncos 34 -7.5 Atlanta Falcons 19 52.5, OVER Miami, FL
XXXII 1998 Denver Broncos 31 +11 Green Bay Packers 24 49, OVER San Diego, CA
XXXI 1997 Green Bay Packers 35 -14 New England Patriots 21 49, OVER New Orleans, LA
XXX 1996 Dallas Cowboys 27 -13.5 Pittsburgh Steelers 17 51, UNDER Tempe, AZ
XXIX 1995 San Francisco 49ers 49 -18.5 San Diego Chargers 26 53.5, OVER Miami, FL
XXVIII 1994 Dallas Cowboys 30 -10.5 Buffalo Bills 13 50.5, UNDER Atlanta, GA
XXVII 1993 Dallas Cowboys 52 -6.5 Buffalo Bills 17 44.5, OVER Pasadena, CA
XXVI 1992 Washington Redskins 37 -7 Buffalo Bills 24 49, OVER Minneapolis, MN
XXV 1991 New York Giants 20 +7 Buffalo Bills 19 40.5, UNDER Tampa, FL
XXIV 1990 San Francisco 49ers 55 -12 Denver Broncos 10 48, OVER New Orleans, LA
XXIII 1989 San Francisco 49ers 20 -7 Cincinnati Bengals 16 48, UNDER Miami, FL
XXII 1988 Washington Redskins 42 +3 Denver Broncos 10 47, OVER San Diego, CA
XXI 1987 New York Giants 39 -9.5 Denver Broncos 20 40, OVER Pasadena, CA
XX 1986 Chicago Bears 46 -10 New England Patriots 10 37.5, OVER New Orleans, LA
XIX 1985 San Francisco 49ers 38 -3.5 Miami Dolphins 16 53.5, OVER Stanford, CA
XVIII 1984 LA Raiders 38 +3 Washington Redskins 9 48, UNDER Tampa, FL
XVII 1983 Washington Redskins 27 +3 Miami Dolphins 17 36.5, OVER Pasadena, CA
XVI 1982 San Francisco 49ers 26 -1 Cincinnati Bengals 21 48, UNDER Pontiac, MI
XV 1981 Oakland Raiders 27 +3 Philadelphia Eagles 10 37.5, UNDER New Orleans, LA
XIV 1980 Pittsburgh Steelers 31 -10.5 Los Angeles Rams 19 36, OVER Pasadena, CA
XIII 1979 Pittsburgh Steelers 35 -3.5 Dallas Cowboys 31 37, OVER Miami, FL
XII 1978 Dallas Cowboys 27 -6 Denver Broncos 10 39, UNDER New Orleans, LA
XI 1977 Oakland Raiders 32 -4 Minnesota Vikings 14 38, OVER Pasadena, CA
X 1976 Pittsburgh Steelers 21 -7 Dallas Cowboys 17 36, OVER Miami, FL
IX 1975 Pittsburgh Steelers 16 -3 Minnesota Vikings 6 33, UNDER New Orleans, LA
VIII 1974 Miami Dolphins 24 -6.5 Minnesota Vikings 7 33, UNDER Houston, TX
VII 1973 Miami Dolphins 14 -1 Washington Redskins 7 33, UNDER Los Angeles, CA
VI 1972 Dallas Cowboys 24 -6 Miami Dolphins 3 34, UNDER New Orleans, LA
V 1971 Baltimore Colts 16 -2.5 Dallas Cowboys 13 36, UNDER Miami, FL
IV 1970 Kansas City Chiefs 23 +12 Minnesota Vikings 7 39, UNDER New Orleans, LA
III 1969 New York Jets 16 +18 Baltimore Colts 7 40, UNDER Miami, FL
II 1968 Green Bay Packers 33 -13.5 Oakland Raiders 14 43, OVER Miami, FL
I 1967 Green Bay Packers 35 -14 Kansas City Chiefs 10 NL Los Angeles, CA