Amazon Sells Girl Scout Cookies?
So you have a craving for Girl Scout cookies, but that neighbor girl is a real brat, and you don’t really want to contribute to her going to camp this summer. So what do you do? Naturally you venture to Amazon and do a search for Girl Scout Cookies. What you will find isn’t exactly a box of Thin Mints or Tagalongs, but a collection of slutty Girl Scout Costumes (bravo!), Vaginal Speculums (ewww), and Wolf Urine (huh?). I originally saw this on Gorilla Mask this morning (although someone obviously sent it to them) and then again on Blog of Hilarity. Since they have an entire site dedicated to being hilarious, we’ll go with their commentary:
I’m not entirely sure how a speculum would come into play with Girl Scout cookies. Unless the cookie is a euphemism for cooch. In which case, you’re a dirty little online sales store, Amazon. The only time you’d need a speculum with Girl Scouts is when they’re muling drugs in for you and holding out on the stash. Then the speculums come out, as does a live feed of one of your associates holding a large knife to the head of her My Little Pony dolls. If you didn’t want to deal with the realities of the drug game, you shouldn’t have gotten kidnapped by those Mexican banditos outside of gymnastics practice. Now you know.
Of course I had to click on the speculums (I don’t know why really, but admit it, you did it too), and Amazon has informed me of their recommendations. Luckily they are willing to offer a package price.
So if you happen to be in the market for vaginal speculums or wolf urine, please remember to use our affiliate links. If you are in the market for Slutty Girl Scout costumes (who isn’t?), please remember that your girl is NOT a model, so she will not look like the pictures.
Additionally, Philip has served as Rally Director for the Washington Automotive Press Association, Speaker at IMPAcon and Blogs with Balls, Chairman of the Relay For Life of North Anne Arundel County, Examiner Team Leader for the Maryland Performance Excellence Awards, and Credentialed Founder of Capitals Outsider.