Buh Bye, Blockbuster Video!


So long, suckers.

Far be it from us to taunt a company that, oh, loses billions of dollars, decides what you can and cannot watch, and generally acts like they really want to earn the sobriquet “Blockbastard,” but, ha ha, Blockbuster, you suck, and now the New York Stock Exchange knows it.

Blockbuster just was informed that they’ve got eighteen days to get a market cap of $75 million, like a big boy company, or else it’s getting yanked from the Stock Exchange. How Blockbuster is going to raise this money, in light of the fact that nobody rents movies from their stores anymore and Netflix is whipping them like a drunk Marquis DeSade at a fetish fair, is anybody’s guess. Our guess is child prostitution.