Are You a Coffee Moron?

Coffee for Two

I’ll admit it – I’m a coffee snob. I want to drink it good. I don’t put anything in it – just black. I don’t buy it at gas stations or overpriced shops. I make it myself.

Are you a coffee moron? If you put two sugars and two creams into 7-11 coffee, you are a coffee moron. Likewise, if you chronically go to the Starbucks around the corner for a two-dollar-plus coffee, complete with its disposable cup, every day, you too are a coffee moron.

I used to be a coffee moron who did all of those things. But now I’m a coffee snob.

Unlike being a wine snob, an opera snob, or just a snob in general, you don’t need special knowledge to be a coffee snob. You don’t need expensive equipment, only a standard twenty-dollar coffee maker and a ten-dollar grinder. You don’t need a lot of money for coffee. In fact, once you buy these things, you will save a lot of money.

When you see the price of whole bean coffee (between ten and fifteen dollars a pound), you might think I’m wrong and you will be getting ripped off. But you have to think that a pound of whole bean coffee will last at least a month.

Pretty much any whole bean coffee will do. Basically if you see a brand that you recognize, like Folgers or Starbucks, don’t buy it. Many large cities will have their own coffee roasters. Look at the label and find one from your city or the nearest big city.

Buy the whole bean coffee – yes you can use the grinder in the store, but it will make a huge mess. Also they never get cleaned and there will be residue from flavored coffee like hazelnut or vanilla – not cool.

You can get a tiny grinder for real cheap – less than ten dollars. Grind the coffee right before you make it. Brew the coffee strong – if in doubt, add more. A big spoonful is good for about one cup. If you brew the coffee too strong, you can always add hot water or milk.

Buy a nice disposable stainless-steel cup. Don’t get a plastic-lined one. Carry the coffee with you to work. Brew an extra one for your lady friend. She will like it.

Now you aren’t a coffee moron. And really you aren’t a snob either – just someone with enough sense to do something for himself, saving money and enjoying an ever better quality of life.