Conan the Barbarian Screenwriter Cries Over Spilt Milk

conan header 560x270

Sean Hood, the talent challenged hack responsible for Conan the Barbarian, is lamenting the movie’s dreadful box office showing this past weekend. For those unaware, (don’t feel bad) the blood and guts remake opened in fourth-place with a paltry sum of $10 million against a budget of $90 million.

Apparently, Hood was overly optimistic about the flick’s chances of success because he’s “devastated” it bombed worse than a Nic Cage period piece. In Hood’s own words: (Vulture)

“It can all seem very grim. You make light of it, of course. You joke and shrug. But the blow to your ego and reputation can’t be brushed off. Reviewers, even when they were positive, mocked Conan the Barbarian for its lack of story, lack of characterization, and lack of wit. This doesn’t speak well of the screenwriting.”

It sure doesn’t Sean my boy. Hard to believe the same guy who penned classics such as The Crow: Wicked Prayer and Halloween Resurrection wrote a steaming turd like Conan. Who saw that coming? Oh, right, everyone with an ounce of common sense.

I’ll give Hood credit for caring about the negative response to his work. At least he knows he dropped the ball. Most scribes deliver trash then blow the loot doing body shots off the C-sectioned stomach of a North Hollywood hooker. Or so I’ve been told.