Denis Leary – Christmas Beer

As Fred was writing his wonderful reviews of Christmas Beers, I couldn’t help but remember the classic Denis Leary bit from Lock n’ Load. I found the video clip, and have it below, followed by a partial transcript. Keep drinking your Cranberry Ale Fred, but Denis and I don’t want Santa Claus on our beer.

In case you don’t know, Denis is NSFW

“Hey man, look what I got you for Christmas.”
“What’s that?”
“Special Sam Adams Christmas beer dispenser, man.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, it’s six different flavors…”
“Y’know what? Put it in the fridge. Put it in the bottom of the fridge and bury it.”

“So months go by, of course, right? Now I’m eating pretzels and I’m thirsty. I go and open the refrigerator, I see a beer out of the corner of my eye. I grab it, I open it up SLUUURP! PHBBBBBT! Cran..berry ale. Cranberry nut crunch fucking ale! Let me tell you something, folks. Cranberries and beer do NOT go together, okay? One’s for bladder infections, one’s for getting drunk! I take a look at the label of my beer; you know what’s on my beer label? Santa Claus is on my beer label. I swear to God! Why don’t you put the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy on there, too. Call it ‘Pussy Ale’ while you’re at it, go ahead.”