Disney Turning Another Theme Park Ride Into A Movie

jungle cruise

With the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise coming to a merciful end soon, the money-hungry bellies over at Disney have been racking their collective brain to find a suitable replacement in their lineup of big screen blockbusters. Well, it looks like that search might be over. Enlighten us with your geyser of “exclusive” knowledge, Deadline:

After Toy Story 3 cracked the billion dollar worldwide gross mark and got a Best Picture nomination for Disney, I’m told the studio is making moves to pair stars Tom Hanks and Tim Allen in Jungle Cruise, the live action film inspired by the venerable Magic Kingdom theme park ride.

I think I speak for everyone when I say, “Since when are Disney rides referred to as venerable?” Nevertheless, watching Woody and Buzz Lightyear do battle with ornery hippopotamuses and man-eating crocodiles has to be more entertaining than Johnny Depp sword fighting a dead pirate with an octopus face in the middle of a hurricane. Wait, no it doesn’t.

Anyway, I’m sure when Jungle Cruise is released in the summer of 2015 it will earn billions of dollars, inspire a whole new collection of cheap overpriced toys manufactured by Taiwanese toddlers and spawn at least two completely unnecessary sequels. Yay!