Fifteen More Of The Worst Video Games Of All Time
Well, I wrote the first Awful Video Games post and, well, problems were afoot. Though you can’t seriously deny that the games chosen weren’t and aren’t abhorrent, there were some mistakes and before I even go on, I’ll quickly address them: a) I linked the wrong Robin Hood game to the Wiki article. However, it’s no big mystery that the game shown was garbage, so, no harm no foul. B) As it turns out, there were at least three more Castlevania games that were done in 3d, yet, each was far, far superior to the N64 mess. ‘Nuff said there, too. And finally, c) I mentioned that Hydlide was a direct rip-off of Zelda when, apparently, Hydlide came first. So, with those erroneous statements and such along with a slew of suggestions for games I ‘forgot’, it stood to reason that I should come up with another. So sit back, crack your knuckles in breathless angry anticipation, and prepare yourself for another barrage of comments as to why this list, too is ridiculous. Or, conversely, enjoy it. Either way, these games still suck with reckless abandon. Please remember, videos are NSFW.
I suppose I could see where the idea of huge semis wreaking havoc all over the place sounded like a great idea at the brainstorming seminar. But then this game was made. And people cried.
Pick one All-Star from any professional sports organization to imbue with the power of Kung Fu. Okay, now take away everyone on the list who isn’t a basketball player. Great. Now your next pick has to include someone who isn’t Michael Jordan. Wait, where are you going?
I saw nothing inherently terrible about any of the Blade Trilogy as a whole. Sure, they had silly moments and bouts of horrid acting, but nothing, NOTHING, held a candle to the flat-out shittiness of this video game. Lack of controls coupled with just about everything else made for one of many reasons to toss your XBOX in a full bath tub.
The video game is (now follow along here) based on a movie that is, in turn, based on a stand-up routine by comedian Mark Harris. That’s three complete levels of lame. That’s like having a video game of Dane Cook’s Vicious Circle. Not something I’d play.
Once again, I stand aside and let the narrator of this unmitigated disaster do his thing.
Here we have yet another classic example of a game following a film. Unfortunately in this case, it was a crappy movie to begin with. Edward Furlong is far and away not Brandon Lee, and that’s not even an eighth what’s wrong with this trash.
This wasn’t just a game I played, but a game I owned, which somehow makes it all that much worse. Even for the NES the graphics were half-assed and the play was just about as fluid as frozen Jello. Seek out the video of the anticlimactic ending that’s just about as pointless as a screen door on a submarine.
I have nothing against motorcycle games as a whole, generally. I loved Excite Bike, for crying out loud! But there is just something irritating about Road Rash that I just can’t put my finger on… oh right: it played like a box of ass.
Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing
Maybe the whole point of this game was to be able to drive directly through your surroundings, I wasn’t there when they designed it. What I do know is that a game where all you do is drive a semi around eratically was already screwed up by BMT back at the beginning of this list. Does no one learn that Semis do not make for fun games?
Oh look, a computer game (originally) that makes no sense, has ridiculous story lines, and is next to impossible to control! Now that’s an original concept!
Now I understand that this game was geared toward kids, but that is no excuse to be patronizing in assuming that they’d never know a direct copy of Super Mario 3 when they saw it. Kids, when it comes to video games, are far from stupid. Ronald should be ashamed.
This is one of those inexcusable games that makes you want to contact the company at fault to reimburse you for all of the controllers you snapped in half while playing it.
There’s a part in this video where the guy playing the game just has Indy stand in one spot for like four minutes, so I used that time to try to figure out what the hell that thing was since I never got that far when I played it. As it turns out it’s the Nazi boat. Huh… anyway, I tried to contact Lucas to curse his very existence, but he wouldn’t take my call.
(Mouth slightly agape and staring, accusing eyes) Seriously?
Screw that pussy, Doomsday. This is what really killed the Man of Steel.
Man, even the artwork sucks!