Fun With Vlad the Impaler

vlad the impaler

Imagine if, a hundred years or so from now, the actions of monsters like Slobodan Milovanovic, Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot, Kermit Gosnell, or Ted Bundy get elevated to mythical status and become far more exaggerated, and each inspires fictional characters that themselves become horror icons for centuries. We can argue that this is already happening with some of these gents, such as Bundy being an inspiration for Buffalo Bill of Silence of the Lambs, or Ed Gein being a model for Norman Bates in Psycho (and Buffalo Bill too, for that matter). We can also say that some of these guys, like Hitler, were so bad that no exaggeration or fictionalization is necessary to keep alive the memory of his actions. But none of them are likely to spawn a fictional character as big as the one brewed from the tales of a 15th-century Romanian leader named Vlad III, Prince of Wallachia, aka Vlad Țepeș, aka Vlad the Impaler, aka Count friggin Dracula.

Vlad the Impaler, a Romanian ruler who was thought to have dined alongside his impaled victims, was the inspiration for Bram Stoker’s Dracula, a character who has already been well-known for more than a century. And since Dracula won’t soon be forgotten, the story of the blood-sucking godfather will string along with it the legends of his model, Vlad Țepeș (a name I like writing because of the Ț and the ș).

It’s been 535 years since Vlady unleashed hell on the Ottoman Empire, long enough for Prince Charles to claim him as a distant relative without inciting a scandal in the British tabloids. The list of Fun With Dracula things would go on forever, so let’s instead focus on the inspiration for Dracula, Mr. The Impaler, and imagine if the modern day psychopaths listed above will one day get etched in this crap, as well:

Awesome Vlad Art

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by Battlow

Vlad the Impaler

Deadliest Warrior Legends Playable Character

Deadliest Warrior Legends Vlad the Impaler

Here is Vlad the Impaler is fighting Attila the Hun. Maybe one day we’ll have a game where we can have modern day serial killers fight each other.

Vlad Tattoos

Vlad the Impaler definition from
The male sex organ used to eject semen and urine out.More commonly know as a “penis”.
Vlad the Impaler invaded the Ottoman Empire.

GWAR Song (you don’t have to watch this)

Vlad the Impaler Lego


Screen Shot 2011 10 27 at 10.58.08 PMHere is Vlad, impaling people and having a meal nearby, just like the tale goes.

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Wax Vlad

112 1262This is Vlad the Impaler at Madame Tussauds in London.

Vlad the Impaler Collectibles and Figures

McFarlane Monsters – Vlad the Impaler
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See more of Todd McFarlane’s psychopath doohickeys.

Vlad Dracula – The ImpalerScreen Shot 2011 10 27 at 9.42.33 PM

You can use this to impale Barbie. Oh, and here’s what he looks like with those robes off. Not sure how this guy impaled anything.

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Vlad the Impaler 26″ Premium Format Figure

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Here’s a high-dollar statue made in limited edition. The premium format even has switch-out heads, one with a ‘vampire’ look and the other that of… a Romanian leader, I suppose.

Vlad The Impaler Unique Le Wizard World Convention Exclusive Heroclix
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Clearly this is the Knight on the chess board of psychos.