Last Night on Game of Thrones…

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For the first time in two seasons of Game of Thrones, last night’s episode featured one storyline in one location, and with good reason. The battle for King’s Landing took center stage in season 2’s penultimate installment, aptly titled “Blackwater.” And what a humdinger of a brouhaha it turned out to be. I mean, I figured it would be awesome but not fist-pumping, jaw-dropping awesome. Kudos to writer George R.R. Martin and director Neil Marshall (Dog Soldiers yo!) for crafting one of the series’ finest hours of intense drama. It kicked copious amounts of ass, so much so that next week’s finale will have a hard time equaling the potency. Here’s how it all went down.

  • Even Tyrion’s pillow talk is phenomenal.
  • Who pulled Grand Maester Pycelle out of moth balls?
  • Bronn has great taste in whores.
  • Screw MMA. I want to see The Hound and Bronn go five rounds.
  • “I’m entirely sure you’re entirely sure what I’m suggesting.” ZING!!!
  • Lord Varys has a story to tell that doesn’t sound pleasant. Maybe we’ll hear it in Season 3.
  • “Been spendin’ time with fancy folks.” Bronn is such a wordsmith.
  • Sansa’s not so subtle digs at Joffrey’s lack of courage is easily the coolest thing she’s done in two seasons. Oh, and “Hearteater” is a ridiculous name for a sword.
  • Drunk, hopeless and bitter Cersei is a barrel full of entertainment. She seemed to be channeling Robert’s brutal honesty, minus the jocularity.
  • Onion Knight? More like Sauteed Knight, amarite?
  • I’ve seen an assload of TV/movie battle scenes in my time, but I can’t recall one that caused me to emote such a vociferous “Holy Shit!” as when the Wildfire ignited. Epic moment, to say the least.
  • “Tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon. The best one’s between your legs. Learn how to use it.” Best advice one woman can give another woman in the harsh reality of the Seven Kingdoms.
  • Stannis is the anti-Joffrey. Dude took the lead and attacked the city walls with gusto. I’m not sure if he’d make a great King, but he is one helluva General.
  • Shea’s clock is ticking ever so closer to zero. Just a gut feeling.
  • The Hound REEEEEALLY dislikes fire. Him going off the reservation has potential.
  • I’d follow the Half-Man into war any day. Without hesitation. Peter Dinklage put on an acting clinic in this episode even more impressive than the one he puts on in every other episode.
  • Beneath the scarred, weary visage of The Hound lies a heart. A heart that beats for a little bird.
  • “Oh fuck me…”
  • Stay tuned for Tyrion to be handed second-class citizen status again now that daddy is back. Sigh.

Whew! That was outstanding. No offense to the other Season 2 arcs, but I didn’t miss any of them one bit. Okay, I missed Arya. And I am still eager to see how the clusterfu*k in Qarth plays out. One more chapter and it’s a wrap. Until next time…