Halloween Treats V: Tricks and Eats
Sweet Samhain, have I really been at this for five damn years? Apparently, the answer is yes. Good Lord. Well, anyway, welcome back to one of our annual traditions here at Gunaxin, where I, your humble author, wander around local stores and secretly snap pics of cool and different Halloween crap. It’s fun and potentially illegal! I don’t know the rules about these things, but since I haven’t been caught yet, I’ll just keep doing it.
- Let’s Have a Dollar Store Halloween (2009)
- Halloween Treats Revisited (2010)
- Halloween Treats III: The Revenge (2011)
- Halloween Treats IV: The Sweetening (2012)
This year, I leaned a little less in the direction of candy and food (though those things are on here) and more down the path of more unusual items. And I think I found some pretty cool things. You see, since it’s Halloween, nearly every company tries to ‘spooky-up’ its typical fare and, well, some succeed and some really don’t. I appreciate the effort, for sure, but seriously folks, let’s get with the holiday program here! Just slapping a few mummies and Jack O’ Lanterns on stuff does not a Halloween item make. Let’s try a little harder and maybe you, too, can find yourself on next year’s list. Okay, soap box removed.
1) Universal Monster Hot Wheels
This had to be first because these things are just about the most amazing little cars I’ve ever seen. And that’s saying something since typically I don’t give a shit about Hot Wheels. But these Universal Movie Monster designs totally caught my eye while I was meandering the toy aisle for some reason. This, friends, is how you do Halloween right proper. Oh, and there are six of these, but the store only had the four.
2) Dial Halloween Soap
Soap is soooo scary!
That’s right, even hand soap has gotten into the Halloween spirit, as it were. From Dial we get two different designs that are pretty well done and ought to do a fine job keeping your little monsters clean after they shovel all that candy into their faces.
3) Gummy Boo Bands
Fruity and Gummy… Bracelets?
Nothing screams fashion like bracelets you can eat. And that are probably really sticky. These things are really stupid. Possibly tasty, but really stupid.
4) Brain Freeze – Floating Brain Ice Mold
This is your brain… floating in punch.
Have you ever wanted to make a floating frozen brain? Of course you have, why wouldn’t you? Well now you can complete with lemon-lime flavor and worms… because why not?
5) Gummy Eyes with Ice Cube Tray
I ‘SEE’ What you did there. See what I did there?
For some reason, frozen body parts are all the rage this season… evidently. What Halloween party would be complete without frozen and gummy eyeballs? A shitty one, that’s what. I like how it says, ‘Eye Chillin’ Fun’ because that makes sense.
6) Halloween Cards
Sickeningly Cute from American Greetings
What can I say, I’m a sucker for cutesy little plush toys. And these two adorable fellas are just precious! Hold on… hold on. I forgot to put on my testicles. Okay, that’s better. A Pumpkin guy and a Monster guy. These things are dumb. I want them, though. Is that so wrong?
7) Tropical Terror – Fruit by the Foot
I’m not a big fan of chewy and fruity anything, really. But I suppose if I had to pick -ya know, with like a gun to my head- I suppose I’d go with Fruit by the Foot. These Mini Feet are particularly cool, and useful as Halloween Trick or Treat goodies. I love the mummy design. Classy.
8) Luck Charms Treats
Boo! It’s me, Lucky!
What does a Leprechaun dress up as for Halloween? Well, now you know: apparently a ghost.
9) Fruit Roll-Ups Mini Rolls
Nos-FRUIT-Tu. Yeah, that was a stretch.
How sweet looking is that vampire protecting his Fruit Roll-Ups like they were his life blood? Very. I’d buy these things for the box artwork alone. But that’s just me because, as I said: not a fan of fruity shit like that. Also: Cool vampire, bro.
10) Halloween Fruit Flavored Snacks
…even more Fruit Snacks.
Finally, we end this Halloween Treat list with even more Fruit Snacks. However, despite my dislike, this box just screams Halloween… as in Halloween 3, the original flick. Just look at this box art, and compare it to the poster of those stretched out silhouettes from the movie poster. How unsettling is that? Very. Happy Halloween, freaks.
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