Hilarious Band Names That Should Be Real
Lately I’ve been thinking about band names. Don’t ask me why, I just have. What happened to groups with names that made sense or were at least something you could imagine on this plane of existence? Nowadays all I hear is Nickelback, Jimmy Eat World, Vampire Weekend and Death Cab for Cutie. Whomever came up with names like these must have ingested a biggie-sized cocktail of liquid mercury, mustard gas, candle wax and ramen noodles. So in the spirit of that, I took it upon myself to come up with some great new band names and their obvious choice of genre without the aid of said cocktail.
Spacewolf Hedgefund – Aboriginal underground contemporary
Mister Fister – Lo-fi surf metal
Bean Burrito Worship – New wave swamp thrash
Carnal Nullification – Ambient Lol-core
Elongated Facial Anus – Christian Glamcore
Dear State Trooper, I’d like my fake ID back, kthxbye – Euro-garage pre-prog
Stories by Joe – Swedish Folk Metal
Oxycontin Brigade – Third era industrial proto-funk
Wildebeests ‘R Us – Experimental sadcore
Goat Destiny – Straight-edge neo-grunge
The thin line between internet seduction and a court order – Scandinavian Frat Jazz
Brontosaurus Thesaurus – Situational breakout gospel
The Tube Top Mafia – Sri Lankan breakfast rap
Herpes and Horoscopes – Northeastern glitter emo
Rump ‘N Roll – Indie sophisti-pop
Tenderloin Segue – Stoner acid-boogie
The Lol Crew – Psychedelic sludge punk
Bra Size: Impossible – Progressive noise vomit
The Walmart Rollback Fiasco – Alternative electro-comedy
A Leper’s Tale – Symphonic instrumental rockabilly
Lowering the Meat – Freestyle klezmer
If you’re forming a new band, I just want to give you my blessing and complete access to this list. With names like these and such success-oriented genres, you can’t go wrong.