Horse Racing in Japan is Amazing

HorseThat up there is a screenshot from a game called Japan World Cup 3, a Japanese horse racing game. Why did we feel the need to clarify that it’s Japanese you ask, to stop you from shitting out your lungs from laughter when you saw this.


Standard Japan.

That is someone riding a god damn seal and a Trojan horse and we’re glad to tell you that, that is the least stupid thing featured in this game. Don’t believe us? Scroll down.


*Editors note. WTF?

Seriously, we don’t know which part of that to make fun of first, the horse running sideways while trying to raise the roof, the guy riding a yeti that seems to be celebrating only suffering half of a stroke or the Trojan Horse being controlled by a guy who constantly trying to hump the sky. But hey, at least there’s not a horse that grows in length if its two female riders flash their clams at each other, oh wait, this is a Japanese game.


Editors note: Seriously, stop posting these, we have enough trouble getting through people’s work filter already.

If you looked at that GIF and though, a sentient horse/penis monster is funny, but I wish it could fly. Japan World Cup 3 has you covered and then some, homie.


*Editors note: Dude come on.

After seeing all this you may be thinking one of two things, one, how the hell do I own this game? And two, how the hell do you win? Well we can’t answer the first question but the answer to the second one is quite simple. Like a boss.


*Editors note: This one is actually pretty funny.

We’ve never really bought into the notion that Japan is massively ahead of us technology wise until we saw these GIFs. These GIFs aren’t just proof that Japan is bat-shit crazy, they’re proof that they’re willing to think outside the box, that they’re willing to take risks.

And when World War 3 happens we have an awful feeling that our tanks and jets are going to be swept aside by a giant mechanical horse swing around a dong made of diamonds with a huge Japanese flag on it. Because come on, scroll up and tell us you don’t think Japan would be crazy enough to try that now.