Dumbest Bobbleheads Ever: Jersey Shore

jersey shore bobbleheads e1296717256331As if we didn’t waste enough time watching MTV’s Jersey Shore, we’ve now got talking bobbleheads of these talentless soon-to-be has-beens whose 15 minutes of fame got stretched into nearly two full years.

Fortunately, Funko only made half the cast, sparing us Vinnie, Angelina, Ronnie, Sammi and that new girl. But Mike “The Situation” looks like Ronnie and doesn’t have enough face wrinkles. Snooki is too tall and too thin, but if they made her what she really looks like, the Wishnik Troll folks would sue. DJ Pauly D looks spot-on, which isn’t necessarily a compliment.

Snooki Phrases

“Pickles is my thing.”

“The Snooks…Is out.”

“I’m not trashy…Unless I drink too much.”

DJ Pauly D Phrases

“You gotta stay fresh-to-death; I call it…fresh outfit, fresh haircut, fresh tan, just stay fresh.”

“Nooo way I’m goin’ to Jersey without my hair gel; can’t leave without my gel.”

“The parties in Pauly D’s pants tonight.”

Mike “The Situation” Phrases

“This is ‘The Situation’ right here…my abs are so ripped up, it’s…we call it ‘The Situation’.”

“Everybody loves me…babies, dogs, you know, hot girls, cougars. I just have unbelievable mass appeal.”

“I check out the mirror and like… Wooh, today’s gonna be a good day.”

So, if you’re retarded, then you can buy the set of three from Amazon. Or, if you’re picky about which characters you like, DJ Pauly D, The Situation, and Snooki are available individually.

Keep in mind, there are kids in Africa who can use this money to feed themselves and get vaccinated from deadly diseases.