Last Night on Game of Thrones…

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I have to admit, I wasn’t exactly in love with the first three episodes of season 2 of Game of Thrones. They were good, but after waiting nearly a year for the series to resume, and guzzling months of hype, I came away slightly underwhelmed. Then again, the introduction of new storylines, characters and locations takes time, so much of my disappointment can be chalked up to impatience. I want Robb to invade King’s Landing now. I want the dragons to be fully grown now. I want Joffrey’s head on a platter now.

All that said, last night’s fourth installment was a monster home run hit to center field. The hallmarks that made season 1 so amazing returned in spades: Tyrion’s masterful maneuvering, Joffrey’s twisted brutality, Arya’s stoicism and some brand new developments that will likely lead to plenty of badass, holy shit, WTF moments. Here’s a quick recap.

  • Direwolves make excellent weapons of war.
  • Robb has a thing for acid-tongued hot nurses who perform battlefield foot amputations (can hardly blame him).
  • Joffrey is still a king-sized prick with some really sick turn-ons. He can’t die soon enough.
  • “There’s no cure for being a cunt.” Bronn rules.
  • Did Baelish really think he had a shot with Catelyn after betraying Ned?
  • Rat in a bucket torture seems extremely unpleasant.
  • Tywin is BACK! More Tywin, please.
  • Stannis and Renly are the opposite of brothers in arms.
  • “The night is dark and full of terrors.” Gulp.
  • Qarth looks like a nice place… from a distance.
  • Watching Tyrion move chess pieces is like watching Peyton Manning in his prime dissect a defense. His theme music should be “Big Impin.”
  • BIRTH OF DEMON SPAWN!!! Jaw. Hits. Floor.

Strap in, kids. Things are about to get very, very interesting in the Seven Kingdoms.