Man Shows His Testicles to Police to Avoid Going to Jail

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Keakins2, Flickr

There is rarely a good time to pull your testicles out and show them off to a police officer, as a stunt like that can result in a taser shot to the pecker and more than likely some time in the county jail.

However, a Florida man recently escaped both the possibility of having his wiener electrocuted and a trip to jail by showing his balls to a couple of officers responding to a public masturbation complaint.

Over the weekend, Port St. Lucie authorities say they received a call from a woman who said there was a man beating off inside his car in a CVS parking lot. While the woman said she did not actually see the man’s junk, she did report that the man was fiercely making an “up and down motion in the area of his crotch,” according to the police report.

Police arrived shortly thereafter and apprehended the alleged whacker walking out of the CVS. When the man acted confused as to why he was being harassed by the police, officers encouraged him to “think about what he did in the parking lot… that would have brought attention to himself.”

That is when the man confessed to having “the urge to scratch his testicles” due to a wicked rash that he was suffering from. And to prove it, he asked officers for permission to show them his inflamed nut sack. Officers agreed, and the man “presented his testicles” so they could verify “that he did have a rash.”

The man and his bright red testicles were let go and not charged with any crime. However, we believe that he should have at least asked the officers where the nearest clinic was before parting ways. But perhaps showing his balls off in public was enough excitement for one night.