Action Figures for True Nerds
There’s a stigma associated with adults who collect action figures. They’re called geeks and nerds for having Star Wars characters lining their desk. But I’ve found something even geekier. The company Accoutrements makes action figures that you’ve got to be a true nerd to collect. Even if you admire any of the following people, having a mini version of them just isn’t the same as having a Darth Vader toy. So, we ask, who are these people, and who would want them?
Who he is: Psychiatrist who was all about Oedipus complex and penis envy
Who would buy it: Psychiatrists
Who he is: Psychiatrist who hung out with Freud who isn’t nearly as famous
Who would buy it: Second-fiddle psychiatrists
Who she is: Wrote Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, and Emma
Who would buy it: Maybe people who actually sat through those movies without falling asleep
Who he is: Wrote the books The Adventures of Oliver Twist, A Christmas Carol and David Copperfield
Who would buy it: High school English teachers, perhaps
Who he is: Wrote The Importance of Being Earnest
Who would buy it: I wanna guess it’ll either be people who enjoy his writing, or who emphasize with the hardships of being gay in 18th century Britain
Who he is: Alcoholic writer of the poem The Raven
Who would buy it: I can actually picture folks wanting this due to the pure creepiness of it. The guy is also screaming for a biopic directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp
Who he is: Founding Father of the United States
Who would buy it: Members of the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania
Leonardo da Vinci Action Figure
Who he is: Inventor and painter
Who would buy it: This one might actually have a few more fans than the others, as there are many other da Vinci collectibles out there
Marie Antoinette Action Figure
Who she is: Wife of King Louis XVI of France who was beheaded during the French Revolution
Who would buy it: French monarchy sympathizers, or French revolutionaries who want to stick her head in the guillotine since the head actually comes off this figure
Who he is: Writer of such plays as Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet
Who would buy it: English professors
Who she is: American sharpshooter
Who would buy it: Feminist members of the NRA
Who he is: Hitler’s favorite composer
Who would buy it: Classical music-loving Neo Nazis
Also get: Beethoven, Mozart, and Bach
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