Action Figures for True Nerds

charles dickensThere’s a stigma associated with adults who collect action figures. They’re called geeks and nerds for having Star Wars characters lining their desk. But I’ve found something even geekier. The company Accoutrements makes action figures that you’ve got to be a true nerd to collect. Even if you admire any of the following people, having a mini version of them just isn’t the same as having a Darth Vader toy. So, we ask, who are these people, and who would want them?

Sigmund Freud Action Figure
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Who he is: Psychiatrist who was all about Oedipus complex and penis envy

Who would buy it: Psychiatrists

Carl Jung Action Figure
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Who he is: Psychiatrist who hung out with Freud who isn’t nearly as famous

Who would buy it: Second-fiddle psychiatrists

Jane Austen Action Figure
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Who she is: Wrote Sense and Sensibility, Pride and Prejudice, and Emma

Who would buy it: Maybe people who actually sat through those movies without falling asleep

Charles Dickens Action Figure
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Who he is: Wrote the books The Adventures of Oliver Twist, A Christmas Carol and David Copperfield

Who would buy it: High school English teachers, perhaps

Oscar Wilde Action Figure
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Who he is: Wrote The Importance of Being Earnest

Who would buy it: I wanna guess it’ll either be people who enjoy his writing, or who emphasize with the hardships of being gay in 18th century Britain

Edgar Allan Poe Action Figure
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Who he is: Alcoholic writer of the poem The Raven

Who would buy it: I can actually picture folks wanting this due to the pure creepiness of it. The guy is also screaming for a biopic directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp

Ben Franklin Action Figure
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Who he is: Founding Father of the United States

Who would buy it: Members of the Scholastic Speakers of Pennsylvania

Leonardo da Vinci Action Figure
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Who he is: Inventor and painter

Who would buy it: This one might actually have a few more fans than the others, as there are many other da Vinci collectibles out there

Marie Antoinette Action Figure
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Who she is: Wife of King Louis XVI of France who was beheaded during the French Revolution

Who would buy it: French monarchy sympathizers, or French revolutionaries who want to stick her head in the guillotine since the head actually comes off this figure

Shakespeare Action Figure
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Who he is: Writer of such plays as Romeo and Juliet and Hamlet

Who would buy it: English professors

Annie Oakley Action Figure
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Who she is: American sharpshooter

Who would buy it: Feminist members of the NRA

Richard Wagner Action Figure
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Who he is: Hitler’s favorite composer

Who would buy it: Classical music-loving Neo Nazis

Also get: Beethoven, Mozart, and Bach