Official Rules to Being a Pimp

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Some quality information we can all put to good use was seized during a raid on a Long Island prostitution ring. A document titled “Rule’s 2 Da game of Hoez!!!” lays the groundwork on how to be a successful pimp. Read and learn.

  1. Alwayz make them need and depend on you so you have power over them. (Power is control)
  2. Make them understand that you don’t need them they need you, they are replaceable. Never let them no if you need them deep down inside.
  3. Never let no1 get away with sneakin anything cause once they feel they can get away they will alwayz scheme.
  4. No matter how much you like or care for 1 or any of them, don’t trust none of them. (Like Scarface, who do I trust?? Me that’s who..)
  5. Alwayz stay 2 step’s ahead of the game you have them playin..
  6. Don’t let them no all your Plan’s. But alwayz try 2 no there’s.
  7. Make sure you own there mind’s, body’s, and soul’s. (N test it out every often 2 make sure.)
  8. Keep your bi on the low as possible when it come’s 2 family and hater’s. (cause you can’t trust none of them)
  9. Alwayz try 2 no whatz goin on..(Make them tell on each other)
  10. Give respect when respect’s due..(Follow these rules and you should b gucci.)

Helpful advice. It also works for girlfriends and wives too. You just gotta be real Gucci to keep them from realizing you’re treating them like a skank ho.

[Via The Smoking Gun]