Paris Hilton: Still A Vacuous Bore

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Did your hear the news? Paris Hilton has a brand new reality show on the Nitrogen, er, Oxygen Channel called The World According to Paris, which premiered Wednesday night. Despite the oh-so clever title, it took a massive corn-filled dump in the ratings, attracting a laughable 409,000 viewers via the ratings mavens at Nielsen.

Two things: numero uno, the show is on Oxygen, not FOX or E!, which should tell you how much TV execs give a shit about a no-talent heiress famous for her choice of stylish sunglasses and her ability to perform fellatio on night vision video; numero dos, Paris is a privileged bore with nothing to say except ten-year-old catchphrases like, “That’s hot.”

This interview from back in February pretty much sums up what a deluded nitwit this boney blond really really is. Note how many times she uses the word “work.” (Apologies for the impromptu appearance from the equally untalented Cuba Gooding Jr.)

Obviously her and my definition of work differs greatly. Dancing on camera at a LA nightclub or pretending to be a pop singer isn’t the same as hauling 35-pound packages of roofing shingles four stories up a rickety aluminum ladder or digging a six-foot drainage ditch in wet sand. Tamato, tomahto.