Rebecca Black Has Nothing On This Kid

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By now, we’ve all been subjected to the autotuned horror “Friday” sung by the latest internet phenomenon and soon to be bipolar teen girl with daddy issues and chronic eating disorder, Rebecca Black. Longing for the days when actual talent was required for a person to become a pop star seems fruitless at this juncture. The Soulja Boys, Biebers and Blacks of the world are here to stay and annoy us to the point of contemplating suicide by shotgun.

So, instead of ramming what’s left of my frontal lobe into a concrete wall, I’m embracing this generation of hackneyed douches and douchettes. Like Noah Ross for instance. His song “Jewlia” sadly failed to get the unwarranted recognition it justly deserves when first released back in 2007. Well, I’m here to remedy this egregious oversight. The YouTube description for this undiscovered gem pretty much says it all:

Meet Noah Ross in his debut Music Video for his contagious hit single “Jewlia” featuring the hot new pop star on Rodeo Drive surrounded by beautiful girls, exotic cars, and a whole lot more… The most common response to this song is “I can’t get it outta my head”.

Unfortunately, comments have been disabled or else we’d be able to discern if the most frequent response is indeed “I can’t get it outta my head.” However, based on the dislike to like ratio, I think Noah oversold it a wee bit. Nevertheless, here’s the video for “Jewlia.” (h/t The Opie and Anthony Show)

C’mon, internet! Work your magic to transform this assclown into an overnight sensation.