Five Ridiculously Expensive Watches

maxresdefault2 560x315The élite of the world, as we all suspect, are nothing but a bunch of crazies who indulge in the oddest of luxuries merely for the sake of being able to flaunt said luxuries in all of our peasant-like faces. One classic example of this tendency is demonstrated through purchasing and using overly extravagant (and just as overly priced) wrist-watches that other mere mortals can only dream of ever even seeing.

We can almost understand purchasing a watch that costs more than the average car. If you are wealthy, then such a splurge is relative to the size of your bank account, and possibly justifiable. When your watch selection exceeds the value of a very nice house, you might have a problem. Here are five of the wealthy-world’s high priced time-tellers. Rather than blow your mind by listing the most expensive available, we’re going to work our way up. We would include Amazon links for your purchasing needs, but uh… yeah.

5) Rolex GMT 116769TBR


Rolex has many expensive and well-known watches but the highest-priced watch you can still get straight from them is their “GMT 116769TBR” (hell of a name, eh?) which is priced at $485,350. The high-flying price tag is due mostly to their admirable use of DIAMONDS and GOLD.

The watch’s sparkly bracelet is made from 18 carat white gold and pretty much everything you can see has a diamond embedded in it, including its case and locks.

Besides sheer blingage, this watch sports a nifty self-winding capability and a submersible “Oysterlock” clasp that can be drowned in 100 meters of water with no problem. Of course, if you do decide to dive one-hundred meters into the ocean and a shark wants to get a taste of your beautifully adorned wrist, that’s completely on you.

4) AP Royal Oak Grande Complication

grande complication1

Those snobbish watch-makers at Audemars Piquet knew precisely what we’d be thinking once we saw this thing and, so as not to confuse all of our “feebler” minds, they decided to sum things up for us as simply as possible in the name; the “Grande Complication.” Apparently we need not trouble ourselves contemplating its many features and inner, working parts (like the embedded minute repeater, split seconds chronograph and gosh-damn perpetual calendar!); instead, our dreams are immediately slashed, if not by the name, then by the boulder-heavy price tag of $560 grand (a “Grande complication,” indeed).

3) Vacheron Constantin Tour de l’Ile


Nothing says luxury quite like a watch worth more than your very LIFE. Clearly Vacheron, the oldest known watch manufacturer still currently in existence (more than 250 years in the business, actually), knew this fact and capitalized on it by creating their own outlandishly-priced time-teller.

Their watch, the Tour de l’Ile, comes complete with two faces, a tourbillon (which is basically a freaking anti-gravity device), more parts than there are bullet-holes in the Matrix and a price tag that’s guaranteed to make you crap out a brick. How much, you ask? No less than $1,250,000. Looks like you’re stuck with that picture of one you have taped to your wrist; that’s good enough.

2) Patek Philippe Caliber 89


This watch was proclaimed by Patek as the absolute most complicated watch ever made. How complicated could it possibly be, you may be wondering? Well, for starters, it has 24 DIFFERENT hand functions. Clearly, those of us who have trouble with traditional analog watches needn’t rest our eyes on this monster unless we want our brains to implode.

The watch is fashioned out of beautiful 18 carat gold (and also platinum) and has more components than most of us have brain cells. To be precise, this watch has 1,728 distinct components altogether with functions including (but clearly not limited to) a working thermometer and a fully functional star chart. Of course, you’d have to pay them in stars to afford the damned thing with its astronomical price of roughly $6,000,000.

1) Chopard 201-Carat Watch

201 carat chopard watch 1 560x285So you think you have money, huh? You think you deserve and, most importantly, can afford the best of the best of the best?

Well then, you’re clearly looking for something like the Chopard 201-Carat Watch. As far as jewels go, this thing’s got enough to hypnotize (and utterly blind) any living thing within viewing distance.

Ever seen a squirrel’s eyes spontaneously burst into flames? Try walking through a park with this thing on. Actually, scratch that. If you were to walk ANYWHERE with this thing on, even the kindest of little old ladies wouldn’t be able to resist jumping you and severing your hand off to get it. This watch’s value is looking at “ridiculously luxurious” in the rear view mirror; it’s somewhere between the price of your soul and the estimated value of the ark of the covenant, with a price tag set at no less than $25,000,000.