Science Invents A Machine That Can Smell Fear
British scientists have announced that they are creating a machine that can sense your fear. Have they seen the Terminator? Can they really not see where this is heading?
First we gave the robots guns, and they did our bidding – and we smiled for it was good
Then we gave the robots eyes, and they killed our enemies – and all was well
Then we gave the robots intelligence, and they chose what they would kill for us – and all was well
Then we gave the robots the ability to see in the dark, the fog, the storms and through walls – and we began to think “hold on this is sounding really fucking stupid”
Then we named the controlling satellite SkyNet without a hint of irony – and the internet began to get really nervous and said “don’t cry to us when the inevitable happens”
Now we have given the robots the ultimate tool to hunt us with – and there wont be anyone left to say “I totally saw this shit coming you guys”
Supposedly the device will be able to detect ‘fear pheromones’ that were only discovered last year, that we apparently detect subconsciously – makes sense, fear is kind of contagious. Also, bad news if flying makes you nervous – the odds of you getting strip searched just multiplied by a bajillion. Have fun with that!