Sexy Eats: Fettuccine Carbonara

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So, The Mr. and I were having a friend over for dinner, and at her request, I planned to make Fettuccine Carbonara.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Carbonara, think pasta, Parmesan, heavy cream, and… wait for it… BACON. Oh, it makes me weak in the knees just thinking about it. Some people try to get by with Canadian bacon or ham, but there’s just not enough flavor. I’m a Southern gal. It’s all about the bacon grease.

First, I took out the 1-pound package…. Of bacon. Hey, I’m cooking, here. No time for play. Yet. Opened the package, arranged the slices on a broiling pan (yes, the whole pound, baby), and resisted the urge to suck the schmutz off my fingertips. Put the pan in the oven and waited.

Washed my dirty hands, like a good little girl. Waited some more, checking in every minute or so to make sure nothing burned. Oh, let me tell ya, the smell of cooking bacon just gets me ALL flustered. It’s almost carnal. Makes me want a bacon bikini. But that would be a whole ‘nother section of the site, so… back to what I’m doing.TBC 214x300

Put the pasta on to boil. Please, for the love of all that’s holy, SALT YOUR MOTHERLOVIN’ PASTA WATER! I can’t believe these TV cooking shows that don’t salt their pasta water, or only put the tiniest pinch. Who taught them how to cook?

Bacon is done. House smells divine. The Mr. walks into the kitchen to check in, and spies me eating a slice. Don’t judge me, every good cook does a taste-test. Wait, the ends of some of these pieces look a little too brown. Can’t put them in the pasta. Can’t waste them. They must be eaten. Oh, the suffering one must do for her art. Maybe I can hang a piece from my nipple and let The Mr. try… too bad he doesn’t like bacon much. (Can’t imagine that matters much! -Ed.)

Checking on the pasta. It’s clumping a little. So, that means… yep! Bacon grease into the pasta! Keeps it from sticking together, and also helps impart some flavor into the strands. Just a little will do the trick, I used 2 tablespoons. Voila! No more clump!

While waiting for that, I made some magic happen — in my bowl. Mixing bowl, freaks! Chopped the bacon into small pieces, added salt, pepper, a pinch of dried onion flakes. Tossed my salad… I mean, tossed those ingredients around to cover nicely. Added in a handful of shredded Parmesan, and 3 eggs. Then came the cream…

I really get into my cooking, what can I say?!

Oh, and I added a half-pint of heavy whipping cream into the bowl, too.

Stir that together, drain the pasta, and add the cream. The whipping cream, that is. Mix well and serve hot. With garlic bread.

Oh, man, that first bite. So creamy. And sinful. Just how I like it. ;)