A Song For Every Kind of Relationship

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Most guys will probably never admit it, but we’ve all turned to music when it comes to relationships with chicks. Whether we’ve been ignored, dumped, had our hearts smashed to smithereens, fallen head over heels or just had the best sex of our lives, music has been by our sides to help our scrambled brains, frayed emotions and crazed libidos make sense of everything. No matter how we’re feeling at the moment, there are a wealth of tunes recorded throughout the years that can perfectly encapsulate our mood. It’s impossible to list every one of them, but here’s a quick reference guide to get the ball rolling. Ten songs for ten kinds of relationships.

Young Love

"Night Moves" by Bob Seger 

Workin' on our night moves,
Tryin' to lose the awkward teenage blues.

I think it's safe to say most of us had that one girl in high school who gave us a summer to remember. It wasn't true love by any stretch, but it was still magical. And there isn't one among us who doesn't look back at those days with a nostalgic smile and wish we could live them all over again.


"Every Breath You Take" by The Police

I feel so cold and I long
for your embrace.
I keep crying baby,
baby please...

It's been said love can be like a drug. Addictive and difficult to shake. Especially when that love is ended without mutual consent from both parties. Some people think "Every Breath You Take" is a gentle ballad. Listen again, because it conveys the exact opposite sentiment.


"You're My Best Friend" By Queen 

I'm happy at home (happy at home)
You're my best friend.
Ooo, you're making me live.

When you talk to happily married couples who've made it work for 30 or 40 years, they will often contribute friendship as the glue that holds the relationship together. It makes sense, because it's highly unlikely two people would be able to stomach one another day in and day out without being best pals.


"Creep" by Radiohead 

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fucking special
I wish I was special

Unless you're some sort of freakish Brad Pitt/George Clooney Adonis, you've probably experienced the torture of being smitten with a chick who wants absolutely nothing to do with you. It makes you feel like the inadequate piece of shit you feared you always were.

True Love

"Your Precious Love" by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrell

To find a love like ours is rare these days
'Cause you've shown me happiness, yes, in so many ways

The question of whether or not true love exists has been debated for generations. If you fall on the "yea" side, then you will find a deeper, more intimate meaning to songs like "Your Precious Love." Meanwhile, the rest of us jaded pricks will continue to roll our eyes sarcastically.


"Let's Spend the Night Together" by The Rolling Stones

I'll satisfy your every need (every need)
And I now know you will satisfy me

Love ain't got nuthin' to do with this kind of coupling. No, this is just straight baingin'. You like what you see and she likes what she sees. No need for chitchat. There's business that needs tending do, if you get my meaning. Mick Jagger sure does.

Broken Heart

"Black" by Pearl Jam 

And now my bitter hands cradle broken glass
Of what was everything?
All the pictures have all been washed in black, tattooed everything...

The only thing worse than outright rejection is picking up the pieces of your obliterated heart after the girl you once thought the world of blasts it with a sawed-off shotgun. Sad, lonely, enraged and depressed doesn't begin to describe the agony, but Pearl Jam's "Black" defines it better than most.


"Love The Way You Lie" by Eminem and Rihanna 

High off of love, drunk from my hate,
It's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer, I suffocate

To call this kind of relationship volatile would be an understatement. The desire to violently strangle is in a constant battle versus the desire to passionately embrace. Eminem has made a career of documenting his personal hell with on-again, off-again lover Kim. "Love The Way You Lie" reads like a 15-round heavyweight boxing match.

New Love

"Just a Kiss" by Lady Antebellum 

Just a shot in the dark that you just might
Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life
So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight

It's rare, but once in a while you meet a girl that you have zero problem taking it slow with. You still want to dive inside her panties, but the anticipation of holding back makes the attraction to her that much stronger, and the fear of screwing it up too soon is overpowering.

Friends With Benefits

"My Dirty Little Secret" by The All-American Rejects

I'll keep you my dirty little secret
(Dirty little secret)
Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret 

There always seems to be a certain amount of guilt attached to these types of scenarios. Basically, the FWB represents a stopgap until you find your next serious girlfriend. You might feel a little dirty, but there's nothing wrong with a late night booty call from time to time.