Successful Super Bowl Party Guide
Along with Independence Day, Super Bowl Sunday is the most popular “holiday” for inviting over friends and family for a good time. Sadly, Super Bowl parties can range anywhere from overly formal affairs to chips-and-MGD college style gatherings, neither of which gives the day the respect it deserves. Because we here at Gunaxin care about our readers (and love a good party ourselves), we worked up a list of tips and rules to make sure your Super Bowl party lives up to its potential.
We have separated these pointers into five basic categories, which cover most aspects of any good Super Bowl gathering. Follow our advice and next year your friends will be begging you to throw another bash.
- Have Multiple TVs: We know you are dying to show off your new 75″ OLED TV with surround sound, but party goers tend to move around as the night goes on, and the last thing you want to do is cram everyone into one room. At least three TVs should be showing the game in separate areas.
- Control the Remote: While all you want to do is watch the game with friends, the odds are good that some people at your party don’t actually like football. They will want to channel surf to see the Puppy Bowl, adjust the volume, rewind to see the last commercial or just be a general pain in the ass. Don’t let them. Hide all remotes to secondary TVs and don’t allow the main remote out of your site for a second.
- Have full HD, Preferably 4K: If you don’t have HD in every room then don’t bother hosting a party. We are far too spoiled by HDTV to settle for less at a major event. These days, your guests are expecting HD, but will likely be impressed if you have 4K.
- Meat, Meat and More Meat: Just because your wife wants to try her new vegetarian spring rolls and you want to lose a few pounds doesn’t mean you get to skimp out on the main dish. Chicken wings, meatballs, burgers, hot dogs and ribs provide you with a variety of proteins to choose from. Keep new stuff coming throughout the night; this is a marathon, not a sprint, and no one wants cold burgers.
- Accessorize: There are two rules for maximizing the taste of most dishes. 1) If it can be topped with cheese, do it, and 2) If it can be wrapped in bacon, do it. While this may not fly if you keep Kosher, that is the only excuse.
- Avoid Chili and Soup: People will not be eating at a table and most of your friends don’t really care about your furniture. If it can be easily spilled it probably will wind up all over your sofa, so avoid anything that needs to be eaten with a spoon.
- Experiment, but Not Too Much: If you have been dying to try out one of the wonderful Football Foodie recipes go ahead, but don’t rely on new recipes for the bulk of your menu. The last thing you want is inedible food on the table with friends due to arrive.
- Control Your Friends: Most likely your friends will want to contribute, and your wallet will thank you if you allow them to. But unless you want seven types of bean dip you need to be on top of who is bringing what. If you have a friend that can’t cook suggest they bring beer or wine. If a friend shows up with the Taco Bell value pack or a bag of ice don’t let them into your house.
- No Fix-ups: If you are in a relationship there is a decent chance your significant other is looking for any excuse to introduce one of your friends to her friend that hasn’t met the right guy yet. For the love of God don’t let this happen, or you will be forced to chaperone their every contact for the rest of the night and report back.
- Avoid Small Children: Suggest to your friends that kids stay at home. Kids can be messy, noisy, attention hogs with no regard whatsoever for your stuff. Plus, a couple of whiny kids can make for an early night for everyone else.
- Hire a Babysitter: If kids (like your own) are unavoidable then hire a babysitter to watch them in a separate room, preferably one that is soundproof and easily cleaned. While a bit costly for a night at home, having someone else available to take care of their needs will allow you to relax and socialize with grown ups for the night.
- Don’t Invite Single Sports Nerds: You know that buddy of yours who knows everything about every game he has ever seen? The one who creates his own spreadsheets to track your fantasy football league and has every stat website on his phone? Don’t invite him unless he comes with a wife or girlfriend who can shut him up. If you like him too much to cut him out then make sure you have another sports nerd to pair him up with so he doesn’t ruin your fun.
- Provide Decent Beer: If your budget is limited to Bud and Miller Lite maybe you shouldn’t be throwing a party. Now, we aren’t suggesting you break the bank on imported microbrews, but for only a few dollars more you can provide a quality beer like Yuengling or a local craft brew.
- No Shots: Just because your college buddies are coming over for the night doesn’t mean you can drink like you’re 22 again. It’s Sunday night, most people have to work tomorrow and the cops will be all over looking for drunk drivers.
- Limit the Mixed Drinks: If it requires a blender or lighter, then it shouldn’t be on your menu. Anything that can potentially make a huge mess should also be off the table. If you have an actual bar in your house do not let your idiot friend who thinks he is Tom Cruise in Cocktail anywhere near it.
- Stay Off Twitter: As much as you want to share every reaction to the game with your online friends and followers, it’s time to turn off the social network apps. You are hosting a party, talk to your guests rather than the rest of the world.
- Avoid Wagering: No, we don’t mean you shouldn’t bet on the game, if you are a regular gambler we couldn’t stop you anyway, we just mean you should avoid other people’s bets. Odds are good that two of your friends will decide to wager on some facet of the game. If you get involved you will be expected to make sure the loser pays up in a timely manner, and that isn’t your job.
- No Fighting: We’re sorry to break it to you, but some of your friends are assholes. As will happen at any party if two assholes spend too much time together a fight will probably break out. So you need to keep an eye on said assholes and keep them separated before they start trouble.
- Preparation: Remember, the Super Bowl is on Sunday night, so if you forget something you won’t be able to get it at the last-minute. This is especially true for alcohol, as many places around the country don’t allow alcohol sales on Sundays (BOOOO!!!).
- Patriots Fans: Don’t invite them because they will spend the night explaining to you why their team would beat both teams playing in the game. Don’t worry about insulting them though, Patriots fans would be shocked to learn that the season does, in fact, go on without them.