Fun With Super Bowl Prop Bets

sports book 560x361There are literally hundreds of Super Bowl prop bets available at Las Vegas sports books. Everything from how many catches Wes Welker will have in the game to whether or not the Dow Jones will be up or down on Monday. Basically, you can bet on anything, well, almost anything. Gunaxin’s resident degenerate gamblers have dug up some prop bets of their own they feel are worth wagering. And here they are.

Will Eli tell Peyton to Suck It if he wins?

Eli has been competing in Peyton's shadow his entire life. A second Lombardi Trophy will give the littlest Manning something big bro doesn't have.

Yes    -350

No     +200

Lay money on Eli. He's been waiting years for this moment.

  props eli 560x315

Will Brady squeal like a girl if Pats win?

Brady is one of the all-time greats, but he's also a fancy boy. A dandy, if you will.

Yes       -400

No        +115

It's a lock. Tommy will go all 13-year-old at a Justin Bieber concert.

tomy brady waterslide 560x334

Will Madonna fall and break hip at halftime?

Ya know, 'cause she's old!

Yes    -125

No     +115

We think the Material Girl still has some giddy up in her go. She'll survive unscathed.

madonna old

Number of Coughlin murders if Giants lose

Tom Coughlin is a damn fine coach. However, he's not known for being stable in the temper department.

Over/Under     3

He definitely kills Brandon Jacobs. and probably ends Steve Weatherford, but he'll be too tuckered out after that. Bet the under.

props coughlin

When will Colts hang up Andrew Luck jersey?

It's a foregone conclusion Indy will draft Andrew Luck. What's not clear is when they'll clean out Peyton's locker.

Second after Patriots leave      +1500

Next morning                            +1200

Draft day                                   +150

Never                                        +100000000

Safe money says they wait until the Draft, but we think they'll sneak it in once the Pats vacate just to see how it looks.

props luck 560x373

Number of times Collinsworth felates Brady

Cris Collinsworth excels at fawning over franchise quarterbacks. It's quite annoying.

Over/Under     10

Please. Crissy will surpass 10 before kickoff. Easy money.

Cris Collinsworthx

Will Tim Tebow see the field?

Quarterback Jesus is known for miracles. Can he pull off one more on football's biggest night?

God no             EVEN

Hell yes            EVEN

It's a toss up. We suggest steering clear, unless you're a true believer.


Number of Taco 12 Packs Kelly Clarkson eats

Ya know, 'cause she's chunky!

Over/Under    3½

Don't underestimate Clarkson's skills. If she's at all nervous, look out. That said, we're taking the under.

prop clarkson

Happy wagering.