Syfy Channel’s ‘Ice Quake’ Looks Awesomely Awful

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The only things I love more than Syfy Channel original movies are Bulgarian amputee porn and oatmeal cream pies, so I am beyond pumped about the upcoming flick Ice Quake, which will premiere December 11th to what I can only assume will be record-breaking ratings. I won’t ruin the experience for you by revealing crucial plot points and provocative subtext because I’m cool like that. Instead, I’ll provide a sneak peek into what will undoubtedly be the winter’s most talked about and lauded piece of entertainment. Screw Harry Potter and TRON: Legacy. Prepare to be blown away by the small screen spectacle that is Ice Quake.

Geesh, I hope Santa is okay.