Ten Amalgamated Creatures That Wreaked Havoc in Movies
First of all, let’s discuss what the word ‘amalgamated’ means, shall we? In fiction in literally means, “the concept of creating an element in a work of fiction by combining existing things.” That, of course, is an amalgamation, which is just the noun form of the word. Learning! It’s fun. Anyway, liberties have of course been taken with the word over the years, as it has gone from a chemical term to a word that just more or less describes combining two common things into one. Now, in these ten cases, the one half of the combo that each has in common is something either bipedal, or straight up human. And each one of these critters has, in its own way, wreaked havoc on its surroundings in one way or another. So let’s check them out, shall we?
- Barf the Mog
In the Star Wars parody, Space Balls, Barf the Mog was the Chewbacca to the Han/Luke-ish Lone Star. He was pretty benevolent, and a little on the inane side, but definitely lovable and played to oafish perfection by the late John Candy. But what was his havoc-wreaking problem? Well, besides being a genuine klutz and an affable goof, he was always whacking Lone Star in the face with his presumably filthy tail. He was, though, half-man half-dog, and his own best friend.
Peter Parker is one of very few superheroes who aren't active lycanthropes that was actually bitten by the 'bug' that gave him his powers. And it's this reason why he is considered an amalgam of a spider and a human. Sure, he has single-handedly saved New York from a slew of villains bent on its destruction, but boy oh boy has he caused some serious damage, too. Much like many of his superhero brethren, in fact; leaving the city in shambles with broken buildings and trashed vehicles. Let's face it, hero or not, his path of destruction is incredibly wide.
- Peter Pettigrew
Just because you're a shape-shifting magician who somehow got missed in a clear last-minute plot-changing device, doesn't mean you aren't an amalgam of an animal and a man. In this case, Peter Pettigrew was in rat form through a few Harry Potter books (and films) and under the care of Ron Weasley before it became not only apparent, but also a huge WTF moment, when it was discovered that Scabbers was actually a dude hanging out and spying on Harry. I don't know, I just have this feeling that this rewrite was conjured as Rowling was realizing that she'd hit a dead end. Either way, Timothy Spall played the animagus to a filthy 'T' and reminded us all to never trust anyone... especially vermin.
- Swamp Thing
Back in 1982, one of the first DC Comics adaptations was rolled out and it was, well, pretty darn good. The film was Swamp Thing, and it follows the Wes Craven directed exploits of the veggie-human and his attempted vindication of those who caused his transformation in the first place. At the end, when Thing does battle with a mutated form of the evil scientist who kick-started his initial amalgamation of man and bog, the ferns really fly and it quickly becomes one of the more epic battles between two monsters. Did I mention this movie also stars Adrienne Barbeau's breasts? Well, it does.
- The Cowardly Lion
Okay, sure, I'll admit that Oz is literally riddled with half-human/half-something else critters. But it was the cowardly lion that truly captured the amalgamation and played it to top form. And boy did this goofy bastard wreak his own special brand of havoc. First, he scares the piss out of the trio of the Tin Man, the Scarecrow and Dorothy, and then he messes up the palace in Emerald City just so he can perform his show tune, and finally he smashes through a perfectly good castle window. Well, for a oafish and lovable lout, at least he had a hand in dissolving the Wicked Witch.
- The Planet of the Apes
At some point -- as we're led to believe in Rise of the Planet of the Apes -- the Earth is going to be overrun by simian soldiers who want nothing more than to rid it of us pesky humans. Of course once one sees the original saga of The Planet of the Apes, one can't help but worry just a little bit that this crazy occurrence just might come true. Even though Charlton Heston doesn't realize that he's on a futuristic version of his own planet until the Rod Serling-penned finale, at that point the apes do little more than torture him. Not just advanced apes, but amalgamated ape-humans.
Werewolves are the classic amalgamated creatures: part man and part wolf. I used this broad singularity because they come in so many shapes, sizes, and styles each of which is just a shade different from the last and always full of havoc-wreaking nastiness. From the Lon Chaney Wolfman to the awesome 'dog-like' werewolves from Dog Soldiers, there is scarcely one variety that doesn't cause some kind of irreversible damage to its surroundings and the populous. Well, aside from Fang Face, but cartoons are a completely different story.
- Seth Brundle
If you want to become an amalgamated creature without getting bitten (see Spider-Man and most werewolves), then scientific experimentation is the way to go. And this fact was learned the hard way by struggling geneticist Seth Brundle in The Fly. All he wanted to do was to invent some pods that transfer matter from one spot to another, but instead -- thanks to an incredibly stupid and inconsiderate fly -- he transferred his matter with a bug's matter and became a hideous fly amalgam! Hideous! Especially when he wreaked vomitous havoc on that one dude's arm... gak.
- The Kowakian Monkey Lizard
Oh look, it's our first non-human amalgamation! What a treat! In this case, it's an alien where rules are useless and everything can be anything, so let's just take this with an extra big grain of salt and a huge suspension of disbelief. So, the Kowakian Monkey Lizard was the little critter that sat up around Jabba the Hutt's head in Return of the Jedi and pretty much just cackled at everyone and everything. His actual name was Salacious Crumb and his claim to devious fame was the fact that he was responsible for picking out C3-P0's eye just before R2-D2 zapped him. He presumably died when the desert skiff exploded. He was an ass.
- The Sumatran Rat Monkey
If you've never seen Peter Jackson's horror masterpiece Dead Alive (aka Braindead), then drop everything you're doing and do so (after reading this). It is a gore fest with more blood than literally any other movie. Not only is it fun and filthy, it's just goofy. Basically, the whole nonsense begins when a Sumatran Rat Monkey (a hybrid that "according to legend" resulted from the rape of tree monkeys on Skull Island by plague rats) bites a woman and is subsequently smashed. It turns poor Lionel Cosgrove's mom into a raving zombie who, in turn, infects a ton of other people. All because of some wacky amalgamated rat thing. Those things are never good.