Ten Celebrities With Great Porn Names
I personally don’t watch pornography because it’s filthy and demeaning towards women, but I’ve heard from my heathen friends that the actors and actresses involved in these blasphemous productions often use creative “stage” names, like Cherry Poppens and Jon Dough.Turns out a lot of mainstream stars and starlets carry similar monikers, be they real or fake. Here are ten celebrities with great porn names.
- 10. Tracey Gold
The former Growing Pains star and anorexia nervosa survivor could've taken a different career path if she so desired. Just ask current adult hottie Tracy Gold, who has used the name to garner legions of fans.
- 9. John Hamm
Beef. Pork. Hamm. It just makes sense. When not nattily attired in his Don Draper suit and tie, Hamm can look very porny with his greasy hair and five o'clock shadow. He also seems like the kind of guy who would take pride in having a great porn name.
- 8. Barbara Eden
Eden means pleasure, delightful and paradise. Adult legends Barbara Dare, Barbara Doll and Barbara Summer have all had successful careers. Plus, have you seen pics of Ms. Eden from her younger days? She was definite porn material.
- 7. John Stamos
While not as obvious as others on this list, Stamos sounds like the name of a guy who bangs broads for a living. Oh sure, it's not as strong as Jake Steed or Lexington Steele, but it still carries a certain amount of potentness.
- 6. Tom Hardy
Do the math. It's not hard to figure out. The Inception and Warrior actor has apparently admitted to dabbling in a bisexual lifestyle, which only adds weight to his great porn name resume. Starring in The Dark Knight Rises helps too.
- 5. Nikki Cox
This is a no-brainer. Jay Mohr's better half has a triple-threat handle: 1) first name Nikki, 2) surname euphemism for penis, 3) letter "x" in the last name. It's a perfect storm of porn goodness. Bonus points for having an ample bosom.
- 4. Peter Dinklage
Peter and dink? Are you serious? That's not even fair. The Game of Thrones Emmy-winner can act circles around the majority of his peers and he has an excellent porn name. He can do no wrong.
- 3. Britney Spears
The only name more synonymous with adult entertainment than Britney is Ginger. And let's be honest here, we've all been waiting for the ex-pop princess to transition to porn at some point, so there's no need to change her name when she finally does.
- 2. Clint Eastwood
Porn loves dudes with directional names. See Peter North and Randy West. Eastwood has the added bonus of having slang for an erect penis tacked onto his name. In addition, movies such as A Fistful of Dollars, Dirty Harry, Magnum Force and Sudden Impact could easily be porn titles.
- 1. Whitney Cummings
This chick has taken full advantage of having an awesome porn name, parlaying years of stand-up into a career in television sitcoms. No offense to her talent, but if her surname was Conrad instead of Cummings, she'd probably still be playing shitty clubs in Jersey.
