When you’re a cartoon character and you need a doctor — any kind of doctor, as it turns out — all you need to do is turn around, because chances are you’re going to find an inept physician or scientist floating about. And sure enough, these 10 famous ‘toons offer 10 great doctors! And by great I mean not great at all.

10) Dr. Katz

Practice: Professional Psychotherapist (Dr. Jonathan Katz)

Quote

David Duchovny: Sometimes I think that the dream is reality and life is the simulacrum.
Dr. Katz: It certainly is.

9) Dr. Banner

Practice: Physicist (Dr. Bruce Banner)

Quote

Dr. Bruce Banner: You don’t know what it’s like to be a monster!
The Thing: I think I’m gonna let that one slide. But at least you get to look normal some of the time. Me? I’m stuck looking like orange granite.

8) Dr. Bushroot

Practice: Botanist (Dr. Reginald Bushroot)

Quote

Dr. Reginald Bushroot: Oh, well. A plant’s gotta do what a plant’s gotta do.

7) Dr. Krieger

Practice: Applied Research Scientist for ISIS (Dr. Algernop Krieger)

Quote

Pam: Come on Ms. Archer, you’ve been in there ten hours. Meet us half way and Kreiger will let you out of there.
Dr. Krieger: Or else he’ll crank up the heat again.
Cheryl: I love that you know how to do that.
Dr. Krieger: And I love that I have an erection, that didn’t involve homeless people

6) Dr. Nick (Riviera)

Practice: A Physician with a degree from Hollywood Upstairs Medical College

Quote

Dr. Nick: [singing] The kneebone’s connected to the… something. The something’s connected to the… red thing. The red thing’s connected to my wrist watch… Uh oh.

5) Dr. Honeydew

Practice: A Scientist with a degree from Carnegie Mellonhead University (Dr. Bunsen Honeydew)

Quote

Fozzie: Oh, I’m so nervous. If I’m not funny, I won’t be able to live with myself.
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew: Well, then you’ll have to get another apartment, won’t you

4) Dr. Farnsworth

Practice: Though Hubert J. Farnsworth does indeed have a doctorate, he normally goes by Professor Farnsworth (or just Professor). He teaches at Mars University.

Quote

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Sweet zombie Jesus!

3) Dr. Hartman

Practice: Yale-educated Physician at Quahog’s Hospital (Dr. Elmer Hartman)

Quote

Dr.Hartman: Mr. Griffin I’m saying you’re fine.
Peter Griffin: Now what? Are you coming on to me?
Lois Griffin: Peter, he’s not coming on to you. He’s trying to tell you you’re healthy.
Doctor Hartman: …Can’t it be both?

2) Dr. Hibbert

Practice: A Johns-Hopkins-educated Physician in Springfield (Dr. Julius M. Hibbert)

Quote

Dr. Hibbert: Another broccoli-related death.
Marge: But I thought broccoli was…
Dr. Hibbert: Oh yes. One of the deadliest plants on earth. It tries to warn you itself with its terrible taste.

1) Dr. Zoidberg

Practice: Doctor of Internal Medicine at Planet Express. (Dr. John A. Zoidberg)

Quote

Dr. Zoidberg: Fry, it’s been years since medical school, so remind me. Disemboweling in your species, fatal or non-fatal?