The Best Captain Jack Sparrow Quotes

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With yet another Pirates of The Caribbean film set to sail into theaters on Friday, it got me reminiscing about the first three. Sure, a lot of the actors from the trilogy are not returning for this film, including Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley. But the only thing that matters is that Johnny Depp is returning and he IS the Pirates of The Caribbean franchise.  So in celebration of the good Captain’s return to the silver screen as he tries to locate the Fountain of Youth in On Stranger Tides, here are some of my favorite quotes from the immortal Captain Jack Sparrow.

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“Did no one come to save me just because they missed me?”

“Why should I sail with any of you? Four of you have tried to kill me in the past…One of you succeeded.”

“Why fight when you can negotiate?”

“My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.”

“Will you tell me something? Have you come because you need my help to save a certain distressing damsel? Er… rather damsel in distress? Either one.”

“Now we’re being followed by rocks. Never heard that before.”

“Ladies! Will you please shut it? Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don’t love you. Of course it makes you look fat. I’ve never been to Brussels. It is pronounced “egregious”. By the way, no, I’ve never met Pizzaro but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is once again gone. Savvy?”

“No. If we don’t have the key, we can’t open whatever we don’t’ have that it unlocks. So what purpose would be served in finding whatever need be unlocked, which we don’t have, without first having found the key what unlocks it?”

“Have you not met Will Turner? He’s noble, heroic – terrific soprano. Worth at least four… maybe three and a half. And did I happen to mention… he’s in love? With a girl. Due to be married. Betrothed. Dividing him from her and her from him would only be half as cruel as actually allowing them to be joined in holy matrimony, eh?”

“You cannot let him near the chest, man, trust me on this. You can mistrust me less than you can mistrust him. Trust me.”

“Why is the rum always gone?”

“You know, for having such a bleak outlook on pirates you are well on your way to becoming one: sprung a man from jail, commandeered a ship of the fleet, sailed with a buccaneer crew out of Tortuga, and you’re completely obsessed with treasure.”

“No one! He’s no one. Distant cousin of my Aunt’s nephew twice removed. Lovely singing voice. Eunuch.”

“Me? I’m dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It’s the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they’re going to do something incredibly… stupid.”

“Commandeer. We’re going to commandeer that ship. Nautical term.”

“You need to find yourself a girl mate. Or perhaps the reason you practice three hours a day is that you already found one, and are otherwise incapable of wooing said strumpet. You’re not a eunuch are you?”

“‘The Immortal Captain Jack Sparrow.’ It has such a lovely ring to it…and it’s not a bad look, really…”

“Pirate.” (in reply to Will’s claim that he cheated to win their duel)

Pirates of The Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, as well as numerous more moments of gold from Sparrow hits theaters on Friday. Watch the final trailer below.