The Best Invention Ever

In an age where we place value in people who are famous for being famous, individuals more worthy of our attention are easily overlooked.

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We're looking at you Ms. Kardashian. For angry reasons.

But that’s all okay. In fact, we have a feeling that everything in the world is going to be okay. Why? Because somewhere out there is an inventor who deserves a statue to be built in their honor. Or twenty. Maybe we can give them a country?

We apologize. Inventor isn’t a sufficient description. Words like genius, visionary, and revolutionary are needed as perfectly appropriate and not at all excessive adjectives.

We’ve gone on long enough. We present to you the Holy Grail of awesome. The greatest creation ever. The Wine Rack.

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Insert underwhelming caption here.

This is a world that values two things above all else: boobs and booze. For centuries, great men have tried combining them, mostly by drinking booze and preceding to play with boobs. You really can’t go wrong with drunken fondling. As long as you have permission, of course.

Now that this lovely contraption has come into the world, you can enjoy second base in a whole new, beautiful way. The Wine Rack is a black sports bra with a polyurethane bladder and drinking tube built in. You can fill it with any beverage you desire, but the name itself suggests alcohol. If the manufacturers suggest it, is it really your place to defy them?

No. The answer is no.

So what are some of the benefits of this device? For one, it turns A cups into double D’s.

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These don't have to make you sad anymore.

Another, more obvious, fact is that women who wear this are walking around with a significant amount of booze. Booze that you don’t have to pay for. Booze that they plan to drink over the course of the day or night wherever they are or plan to be. Starbucks? Sure. Work? Why not. Life of the party?

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You bet your ass.