The Trailer For Julia Roberts’ New Movie Will Make You Vomit

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I watch a lot of movies, so it’s only natural I’m going to run across a certain amount that totally suck. It’s the law of averages. It be great if I loved every flick I saw… wait, on second thought that would blow because I wouldn’t be able to deliver a vicious beating like the one I’m going to hand Julia Roberts’ new movie Eat, Pray, Love. Lord, even the title makes me cringe.

I loathe romantic comedies. Can’t stand them. But I’ll take a hunk of shit like Killers any day over a journey of self-discovery. Eat, Pray, Love is one such movie and making it worse, it’s a woman’s journey of self-discovery. These kinds of stories are pompous, unoriginal and insulting to the average person who can’t afford to travel the world on a whim. Behold the plot synopsis for this pile of trash:

Newly divorced and at a crossroads, Liz Gilbert [Roberts] steps out of her comfort zone, risking everything to change her life, embarking on a journey around the world that becomes a quest for self-discovery. In her travels, she discovers the true pleasure of nourishment by eating in Italy; the power of prayer in India, and, finally and unexpectedly, the inner peace and balance of true love in Bali.

Pardon me while I eat a bullet. What that summary doesn’t tell you is that Liz, based on a real writer, traveled the world on her publisher’s dime. Basically, Roberts plays a selfish, man-hating shrew who hops around the globe gratis whining about female empowerment and not needing a man in her life, only to end up with a man in her life. Words don’t do it justice. Here’s the vomit-inducing trailer.