Those Wacky Infomercials!
Sure, we’ve all left the television on to be woken up by those crazy, Girls Gone Wild infomercials or that guy trying to sell you the secrets to untold wealth. These are the infomercials that get the most airtime. But, what about the rest? The ones that slip through the cracks and are so bizarre that if you were to see them in the middle of the night you would start wondering who slipped the LSD into dinnertime. Well, worry no more. Here they are!
What sells real estate? That’s right! Boobies!
Sure it’s a Samurai sword, but should you just be swinging that thing around during an infomercial? NO!
Feel like being molested while you’re in the car? Who doesn’t? And if it’s by a cute, snuggly stuffed animal all the better.
Here’s The Tiddy Bear!
Have you seen the commercial where they are selling a belt that gives you electric shocks to give you rock hard abs? Yeah, me too, but what could make it better. Oh, I know. How about…ELECTROCUTING YOUR FACE!
Bald? Sure, we are all, somewhere. No more with Ron Popeil’s spray on hair. That’s right, you spray hair on your bald spots, brush it out and you’re good to go. Don’t believe me? Check this out!
Sure, most of us want to do our own pedicures at home, but were too damned fat! Now with The Pedi Pistol that worry is over. It looks like a dremel on steroids and probably feels the same. Can you imagine sneexing while using this thing? You could lose a toe!
No hetereosexual male in the world would use The Shake Weight. Wait! You say it’s meant for women? Good excercise for the ladies? And it looks like they’re doing what? SOLD!
Flashlights are good. Really bright flashlights are better. Flashlights with a direct pepper spray delivery system are AWESOME!!!
I don’t want anyone thinking that infomercials are a recent thing. They have been around for decades. I give you The Flowbee! Need a haircut, but don’t want to pay the barber? Then hook this sucker up to your vacuum cleaner and go for it!
And finally, when you think you’ve seen it all, here comes the most unlikely of all infomercials. The Troma System! Yes, the people that brought you The Toxic Avenger had their own infomercial back in the 80’s. Prepare for madness!