Top Gun 2 With Tom Cruise Just Might Happen
Remember when Tom Cruise was a hunky movie star aiming to please and not a fanatical lunatic bent on ruling the universe? The year was 1986 and Top Gun was seducing audiences all over the world with dramatic air-to-air combat action sequences, a pop song infused soundtrack and shirtless pilots with glistening pectorals engaged in ultra-competitive beach volleyball matches. It was an age of innocence when insider trading was fun and pornography was cool.
Flash forward twenty-four years. Tom Cruise is a husband, father and staunch Scientologist, America is bogged down in two endless wars and the economy is circling the toilet bowl. Sounds like a perfect time for a Top Gun sequel. Who’s with me?!
Paramount Pictures has approached uber producer Jerry Bruckheimer, stylish director Tony Scott and one-hit wonder screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie to concoct a second chapter to the summer tentpole classic which may or may not include Cruise reprising the role of Peter “Maverick” Mitchell.
No word on whether or not Kelly McGillis, who is now a giant gray-haired lesbian, or Val Kilmer, who is now a giant mound of fat, will also have cameos, but one can only hope. I’m thinking about a plot involving a washed-up alcoholic Maverick haunted by the ghost of Goose who falls in love with a hotshot young pilot played by Shia LaBeouf. Who’s with me?!