Tough Mudder: A Real Marathon

Mudder Intro

Run TOWARDS the fire...

Lately I’ve been noticing a lot more of those “26.2” or “13.1” bumper stickers. These pompous pieces of flare tell the whole world, “LOOK AT ME!!! I RAN SOME SORT OF MARATHON!! I’M SPECIAL!!”

I’ve got news for you: you’re not. With enough training, anyone can run a marathon. Case in point: the finalists for this seasons’ Biggest Loser had to compete in a marathon.  So yeah, despite the fact that more than half their body weight is cookie dough and Funyuns, they can still train three hours a day with Jillian Michaels and her penis consistently yelling at them until THEY TOO can proudly display one of those stickers on the back of their shock-worn Volvo. Bravo (begins slow clap).

Yelling 300x225“You’re standing on my dick, Fattie!”

My issue with marathon running is that it seems boring as hell. Oh sure, they’ll throw in a hill now and again, or you’ll run through downtown New York while all the inconvenienced motorists secretly hope you collapse in front of them as they wait impatiently for the traffic to clear up.

What about adding some real challenges?

Challenges like climbing walls, running through fire, or how about running through live wires? Think the Kenyans would then have a stranglehold on these suckers? Bullshit.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the Tough Mudder competition: a marathon that tests every ounce of your being, designed by British Special Forces. It’s not a race folks — it’s an event. Just finishing it, as they say, is a badge of honor. What’s more is that you don’t finish until your entire team finishes, which means you’re not in this alone. The course is 7-12 miles of team-oriented challenges and obstacles that will weed out the straight marathoners from the truly insane people, such as myself.

Tough Mudder

That’s right. I will be participating in the Tough Mudder competition on April 9th, 2011 in Allentown PA. Would you look at this friggin’ course? I have to say, I wasn’t too intimidated until I saw that participants are going to be ELECTRICALLY SHOCKED towards the end of the race. Yeah… shocked.

tinker.tough.mudder.cnn .640x360 300x168“Hey, at least they’re honest”

I, along with a group of friends, are putting our limits to the test. Our training has already started and during the next few months I’ll be updating you on our progress. But I’ll also need your help. I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t for a ridiculously amazing cause.

My team is raising money for the Family and Friends for Freedom Fund which helps to provide financial support to injured Marines while they continue their long road to recovery. These are guys that find the Tough Mudder competition “adorable.” These are frontline guys. Guys who take shrapnel, run blindly into enemy territory, and put their lives on the line every day.

You really think any of them would bat an eyelash at this?

Not a chance. And that’s all the motivation I’ll need when running this event.

fire 300x199“Did I mention there is fire?”

So please, donate to the cause and make a Marine’s life a little easier while I make mine a lot harder by competing in Tough Mudder 2011.

Donate HERE

Help us reach our goal!

– Mike