A Tribute to Oz’s Ryan O’Reily
Before he became the really annoying guy in the Allstate insurance commercials, Dean Winters was Ryan O’Reily, the Irish hoodlum from HBO’s prison drama Oz. Winters also had roles in Rescue Me and 30 Rock, but who cares. Let’s focus on the manipulative prisoner who almost always got his way in Emerald City, killed who he wanted to kill, never got punked, and even got girls. He’s who we all would want to be if we served time in prison.
Ryan O’Reily was convicted July 12, 1997 of two counts vehicular manslaughter; five counts reckless endangerment; possession of controlled substances; criminal possession of a weapon; and parole violation. Sentence: life imprisonment, eligible for parole after twelve years.
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Great O’Reily Quotes
Ryan O’Reily: “Stupid, huh? To think a marriage will ever last longer than a tattoo.”
Ryan O’Reily: “‘Lights out’ means Shut the fuck up.”
Ryan O’Reily: “Hey, I’m a man of logic; I’m a man of planning. I consider every detail; I factor in every possibility. Then I flip a coin.”
Ryan O’Reily: “Yeah, I learned the alphabet the hard way. DEA. HIV. IOU.”
Ryan O’Reily: “I’m like the lord of the fucking dance..I got moves.”
Dr. Gloria Nathan: “Ryan… you may have breast cancer.”
Ryan O’Reily: [laughing] “That’s funny.”
Dr. Gloria Nathan: “I’m not kidding.”
Ryan O’Reily: “…Breast cancer? Girls get breast cancer.”
Dr. Gloria Nathan: “Men do too. It’s rare, especially at your age, but it does happen.”
Ryan O’Reily: “I’m not a fag you know that?”