True Blood, the Best Show on TV?

trueblood poster 560x663I’ve officially stopped watching network television (except for sports), because HBO is like a wife that puts out so well that you don’t need to cheat (except for Family Guy and The Simpsons, which to me is like being married to Erin Andrews but getting Carrie Milbank every weekend, if that makes any sense but you know what I mean.) After The Sopranos ended, and it appeared that Curb Your Enthusiasm was ending (it’s not), I was clinging onto Entourage for dear life, praying that HBO would put out anything to keep me coming back and paying them $17 a month. It did. True f—ing Blood, mothaf—a. Alan Ball, the dude who put out American Beauty and Six Feet Under hit another home run and he’s now my favorite guy who makes stuff to watch (which I think makes me not a homophobe because from what I hear he’s Bruno gay).

True Blood is based on books that I haven’t read and likely won’t because I won’t read anything else until I’m all finished with Stephen King, so anything that happens in the show is new to me, and not critiqued by book purists who have nothing better to do than to point out the differences. So here are ten things about the show to LOVE (MAJOR SPOILER ALERTS).

  1. Lafayette, a gay, hustling, V-dealin’ ho is ultimately a likable character. At the end of last season, it appeared he was killed but fortunately he wasn’t (and I hear that is different than the books.) I’m willing to bet that before the series finale, he’ll be turned.
  2. Gran got killed. Yeah, I know that’s pretty bad to say that’s why a show is good, but it actually is. Typically, the old and frail are untouchables, so when she hit the floor, it became clear that ANYTHING goes on this show.
  3. Each episode ends on a cliffhanger. I’ve gotta admit that I missed the boat on the first season and had to watch it all on demand, so I didn’t have to wait a week like all you suckers out there. But this season I’m up to speed.
  4. That drunken cop who keeps seeing pigs is still alive. Not a likable character at all and it would be too obvious to say he’ll wind up dead at some point, so I’m putting money on him living out the series.
  5. Arlene and her marriages. Rene was what, no. 4 for her? And he just happened to be the (MAJOR SPOILER ALERT)  murderer at the end of season 1! HAHAHA LOVE IT.
  6. Jessica, Bill’s new vampire, acts like any other teenage girl. I’m not sure, though, if she’s of legal age yet since she may have been turned before her 18th birthday, so for all eternity, hands off, fellas or you’re breakin’ the law.
  7. We all wanna be Jason. In season one, he was with another girl, what, every episode? He’s like Samantha on Sex in the City (ummm, so I hear… not that I’ve ever watched THAT show. Oh, who am I kidding, I’ve seen every episode 10 times).
  8. They live in a town that I wanna live in. Everyone knows each other. Everyone hangs out at the bar and gets drunk. Everyone is blue collar and not sitting at a computer 15 hours a day like me. The girls are easy. It’s nothing like my hometown of the Washington DC metropolitan area where everyone is a jerkass.
  9. It ain’t all about the supernatural. Horror writers have it easy in respect to telling the reader to suspend disbelief at every turn and go along with whatever shenanigan they come up with. But there are real problems with these characters that have nothing to do with the supernaturally. That subplot of Tara and her ma getting the exorcism which turned out to be a con job wasn’t supernatural at all (and when are we gonna find out who killed the voodoo woman who staged the whole thing?)
  10. Sookie’s boobs. As of now, Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer (who’s like a baker’s dozen years older than her) are a real-life couple, which ultimately translates to more onscreen sex scenes, which translates to more of Anna Paquin’s boobs (let’s try to forget her as that lovely little girl in Oscar-winning role in 1993’s The Piano).

I could probably name another 100 reasons why this show rocks but I’ve gotta get back to the LCD and re-watch every episode in Season Two, so I’ll let you add more in the comments. For more blood sucking goodness, check out our Top 10 Vampires in Pop Culture.