Twenty Advertisements that Will Haunt Your Soul for Eternity
It’s the job of the marketers to come up with clever and insightful advertisements to make us, the lemmings of society, follow blindly along convinced we actually need these things. Sometimes they get it right and we can’t wait to own these things, and other times they scare the hell out of us and make us never want to buy anything again. What follows are twenty print and television advertisements from over the years, which after witnessing, you will never be the same.
Baby Laughs A Lot
“When there’s no more room in Hell, the baby will laugh a lot.”
Chase and Sanborn Coffee
And he will find out. He’s been having you followed. He’s just waiting to hear that your not “store testing” the coffee. This is the shit that matters to him, and you knew this before you married him, so you have nobody but yourself to blame if you end up dead in a shallow grave one day. Don’t give him a reason! You’re friends were right. You should never have married that coffee drinker. But what will you do now? I guess there’s no real way out of it, is there? Not with the children. He’ll never allow that, will he? You better pray the the coffee is fresh. That’s all you can do, really. That’s all you can do. It’s in God’s hands now.
Have we learned nothing from Chucky? You don’t put the souls of the living in dolls! You just don’t! Nothing good can ever happen from that! Nothing! Take that doll to the Fires of Mordor, Now!
What “It” eats for breakfast.
“Stupid bitch! What’s the matter with you? Can’t you even make a simple cup of coffee! Goddam! I knew I should have married your sister! You worthless cow!” For every housewife who has ever been physically, psychologically, or spiritually abused by her husband over coffee, there is hope: The Mountain. Thank you Poppa Eddie. You just saved another life.
McDonald’s in Japan
You can’t escape the clown. He’ll follow you to the gates of hell and laugh as the devil shoves a Big Mac down your wind pipe. You can’t escape the clown.
Play Station 3
Did that baby really suck its tears back up into its eyes? It did. Oh my god.
Little Baby’s Ice Cream
Should that ice cream man be eating himself? Isn’t that cannibalism? Worse than that, it’s auto-cannibalism. Christ, I’m never eating ice cream again.
Eat Like Snake
We love Burger King, but man! If I have to worry about snake people slithering about under my feet, unhinging their jaw and swallowing my Whopper whole, I don’t think I want to go there anymore. What else are they going to swallow whole? A baby?