Who’s The Ugliest Porn Peddler?

images5 75x75There are three big names in modern day pornographic magazines, and all three of these men have something in common: They’re butt ugly.

Girls only want them because they’re rich and powerful, which no man would fault them for, but it’s kind of stomach churning to know that a bunch of 18-year-old blonde bimbos hang on these guys like the silicone on their chests.

Hugh Hefner – Playboy

Hugh Hefner 1Hugh, you look like a frog. Note that none of these girls are princesses and you won’t be turning into a prince any time soon when they kiss you. If it weren’t for Playboy you’d just be a creepy old man walking around in a bathrobe and smoking a pipe. We envy what you’ve done with your life, but knowing that it’s your face behind those images is downright disturbing.

Larry Flynt – Hustler

flynt xj f.10854.10854Larry, even before your assassination attempt, you were slow and dimwitted, and the poster boy for inbreeding. Woody Harrelson playing you in The People vs. Larry Flynt was like if Robert Redford played Rocky Dennis in Mask.

Bob Guccione – Penthouse

bob guccionejpg be57c4ebbd91e3baCompleting the trifecta of unsightliness is the recently departed Bob Guccione. Rest in peace, Bob, and make sure your eyebrows don’t get caught when they close the lid. Too soon?

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