Valentine’s Day Advice from The Advice Guy

ADVICE GUY Valentines Day copyValentine’s Day is upon us once again, and you know what that means. It means my inbox has been bursting at the seams with lonely hearts begging me for dating advice. I’m not one to say no when it comes to advice of any kind, so here it is. The Advice Guy’s Top 7 tips on how to impress the ladies this Valentine’s Day.

Be careful what you ask for fellas! The wisdom here contained may just make you more popular than you could ever wish for. Maybe you might want to just sit and look at the TV, watching a rerun of Happy Days, but there’s some woman grabbing at you. It happens. You just need to decide what you want: TV or women? If you said, “Happy Days! Yeah!,” then this list isn’t for you.

1. Starting Conversations

00205 man woman conversationFirst of all, and this is probably the most important to keep in mind, it is NOT up to you to start a conversation. It's up to her, and if she fails to say anything  interesting in the first twenty minutes of the date, then it's okay for you to get up and leave. Life is short. Remember that. You don’t want to waste one precious minute sitting around with a girl who isn’t going to say anything good. You don’t have to explain yourself, and you don’t even have to say goodbye. Just get up and go.

2. Finding out her Zodiac Sign

goatFind out as soon as possible what her zodiac sign is. As clichéd and corny as this may sound, it serves an important purpose. If she says that she is a Capricorn, end it with her right then and there. Just walk away and don’t look back. Capricorns, ALL Capricorns were conceived in a lake of fire with the single goal of dragging you back to Hell with them. Do you need that?

3. Compliment Her

feet 300x225For some reason, girls like to be complimented. There is something about external validation that sparks within them a heightened state of arousal. If there is nothing obvious about them to say anything good about, compliment them on their feet. For example, you could say, “You got nice feet. It’s cool how symmetrically proportionate they are to each other.” Another area to target is the face. You might want to say, “I like how symmetrical your eyes are to each other.” Or, “You sure got a purdy mouth.”

4. Give her Chocolate

Hershey Kisses 225x300It's important to keep in mind that all girls everywhere like chocolate. Therefore, it is to your ultimate benefit to carry a bag of Hershey’s Kisses with you. Be careful though that your date does not eat more than two or she will get fat, and that will make it that much harder to find something to compliment her on.

5. Make Eye Contact

staringGirls feel comforted and safe with you as long as you maintain eye contact with them. I suggest while you’re waiting for them to start a conversation, you look in them in the eyes and hold their gaze as long as you can without blinking.

6. Ask Her Name

name tag 300x196Sometimes the date might be going fine, but you find you simply can’t remember her name, which is to be expected because there is something like four billion names, so how are you supposed to remember the one somebody gave her way back in the day? In this case, just ask her. Say, “What did you say your name was again?” Ask her this as many times as it takes for you to remember. “What did you say your name was again?” The girl will appreciate the effort and it will show that you really care.

7. Take an Interest in her Family

dad 300x212Finally, girls dig it when you take an interest in their family. One way to do this is to make inquiries about her father. Ask her, “Who’s your daddy? Who’s your daddy? Who’s your daddy?”

 

And that’s pretty much all you need to know. Master these things and you too shall be popular with the ladies and have an outstanding Valentine’s Day this year. And hey, you’re welcome.