Weekly Standard Denies the Existence of MILFs

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To quote Quizno's: Mmmm mmmm mmmm mmm mm!

There are a lot of objections that us sensitive feminists here at Gunaxin have to the Weekly Standard’s hilariously weak grasp of what hooking up is actually like. But our biggest objection is the statement that a hot chick is past her sell-by date when she turns 28, because we can not only prove this is untrue, we can pretend yet again we’re making a feminist point while objectifying hot chicks.

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Weekly Standard's idea of a decrepit old hag.

Come on, Weekly Standard, what the hell? Do you seriously believe that we wouldn’t sleep with these women?

Some of them are over 35! Some of them are…dear Lord…OVER 40! What do you think happens when they turn 40?

True, age makes fools of us all, but hotness can endure for decades (especially with carefully designed nutritional regimens and skilled make-up artists). MILFs, cougars, and all the women who don’t remotely qualify but are allegedly over the hill because they’re twenty-nine, don’t worry. We love you. With our wangs.

Play us off, Dustin Hoffman: