World’s Biggest Circle Jerk Coming to D.C.

inauguration2009The one thing I am grateful for is that on Tuesday, Inauguration Day, my boss gave me the day off work so I don’t have to commute to my job in Washington because the subway will be crowded with four million Obama f-ers who plan to freeze their butts off together to watch a rehearsed ceremonial moment in history. Let me tell you what’s going to happen so you can save yourself hours of commuting on sub par transportation, getting frostbite, and pissing yourself because you can’t find a porta-potty.

“I, Barack Hussein Obama, do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the office of the President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”

What do you think he’ll do, grab his crotch and twirl ala Michael Jackson? Break out of that Urkel impression he’s been doing and scream “Yeaaaah!” like Lil Jon?

“First black president!” people have been screaming. It’s Inauguration Day, not I-negro-ation day. Retarded people didn’t rejoice this way when George W. Bush was elected.

I’ll be at home watching… not the Inauguration, but the Sopranos on HBO On Demand. Season One is playing again.

Ben

Contributor at Gunaxin
I have an unhealthy obsession with Muppets, Lord of the Rings and Star Wars. I take out my frustrations on people on the hockey rink using traditional Korean martial arts. I'm prejudiced against hipsters.
bsum