WTF? Moments at a Chinese DVD Market

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One of the things I really like about my life in China is how inexpensive DVDs are here. What I once spent around twenty US dollars on at Best Buy, I know spend 5 rmb on at the local DVD market, just a ten minute walk away from my home. For those of you who don’t know, 5 rmb is roughly 75 American cents.

The thing is though, I have no idea who is packaging these DVDs. There has been more than a good share of WTF??? moments while examining the packaging of these popular English language movies. I present to you here, just a few…

Iron Man 2

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Okay here’s the deal. I started to watch this with my Chinese girlfriend, and we were able to get the Chinese subtitles on so she could enjoy it, but I couldn’t figure out how to get it off the German language dub of the voices and back to English so I could enjoy it, so I just spent that two hours watching her watch the movie, which was cool. But I don’t know what happens in this movie. Somebody please tell me if this description from the back of the packaging even comes close to accurate:

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Kick Ass

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I’m only guessing here, but I think we are supposed to read both plot summaries and choose which one is the least boring?

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Machete

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He barely survives the sniper’s bullet, and is soon out for revenge on his former employers, with the reluctant… The reluctant what? The reluctant what!?!?! Dude, don’t leave me hanging like that!

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The Ring

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Say man, you wouldn’t happen to know who was in the original, Japanese version of The Ring, would you?

Gosh, no. I sure don’t. Why don’t you read what it says on the back of the DVD box?

Good idea…

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Lost Season 6

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Never mind the dullest description of LOST ever written (it was only a “somewhat” mysterious sequence of events that brought them to the island. Come on, what was the big deal?) but do you think the critics at The San Francisco Chronicle really got what the show was all about?

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Saw II

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Smell the breeze extremely frightened of homicidal game, bitches!

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Marmaduke

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. Just because Owen Wilson is the voice of an animal in a movie, it doesn’t mean the movie is a sequel to Drillbit Taylor. I’m getting a little tired of repeating myself.

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MV5BMTkxNzkwOTc3OF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTc1MzU1MQ@@. V1. SX214 CR00214314 204x300

Mirrors 2

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With a writeup like this, it’s a wonder this movie hasn’t sold a billion copies!

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Jim Larsen

Contributor at Gunaxin
Jim Larsen began his Fool’s journey in the fall of 2004 when working as a government contractor, he literally heard the call of tarot spoken in his mind with the words “Jim, study tarot.” And Jim listened. Buying his first tarot deck that very day, he put himself on a path that completely altered his life in ways he didn’t see coming. From the government offices of the Washington D.C. metro area to the volcanic jungles of Hawaii, this path has led Jim to such places as India, China, Switzerland and more.

It is has been in his travels that Jim discovered the vast storehouse of esoteric knowledge that we, as incarnated humans, carry within us. Each of us- we all carry in us the wisdom of the ages. This wisdom is there for our benefit. All we have to do is tap into it. Jim’s personal word for this storehouse is “The Silence” for it is accessed through meditation, bliss, joy, and moments of ecstatic joy. It is not reached in those moments when the mind is engaged. It is reached when the mind is quiet and we have no need of thoughts.

It has been through Jim’s exploration of The Silence and his voracious journaling of his encounters there that he has gathered the material for his popular “Knowings from the Silence: Simple Wisdom from an Enlightened Life” series of books as well as his tarot take on The Silence- “What’s Tarot Got To Do With It?: The Fool’s Path to Enlightenment.”

Jim is also the author of “The Double Oh Fool’s Guide to Tarot Mastery” and “Art is the Best Revenge: Poetic Deviance by Jim Larsen.” What’s more, Jim is a renowned poet and humorist on the Big Island of Hawaii. He has dappled in film making, t-shirt design, and has made a name for himself in both improv and standup comedy. Jim is a Reiki Master, Deeksha Blessing giver, tarot card guru, theHonolulu Tarot Card Examiner for Examiner.com and the creator of the Fool’s Path Tarot Deck, available from his website, foolspathtarot.com
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